Dogs, Cars and Animals: Paintwork

Paintwork

By MY CAR - 15/11/2011 04:51 - United States

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 908

You deserved it 11 154

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Same thing different taste

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 391

You deserved it 50 988

By GoodDog - 09/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 855

You deserved it 51 893

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 020

You deserved it 2 894

By hold your horses pony boy - 18/04/2014 18:24 - United States

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 215

You deserved it 13 732

By MakeItMaaco - 11/07/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 932

You deserved it 3 769

By j - 04/06/2009 03:36 - Australia

Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 368

You deserved it 6 551

Bad Day for a Good Boy

By Dakota - 28/09/2017 04:30

Today, on my way home from work, I went to the car wash. When the spray jets hit the car, my dog jumped out of his crate, into the front seat, and onto a button lowering both back windows. I got both an exterior and interior wash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 929

You deserved it 930

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 02:07 - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 460

You deserved it 2 485

By sam - 17/01/2011 03:32

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 195

You deserved it 2 239

**** fox hunts

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 17:01

Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window, and cowered between my legs. He got out of the car, waded through the dogs, and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 258

Renesaga 8

Tuesday 15 November 2011 8:39

A dog doing a rain dance? Please tell me you recorded this and uploaded it to YouTube.

deviable 9

Tuesday 15 November 2011 8:40

Lasso that back bone back in and stage a tap dance on his face. With cleats.

Comments

sou_fml 3

Tuesday 15 November 2011 14:19

wtf is an asshat?

sou_fml 3

Tuesday 15 November 2011 14:19

wtf is an asshat?

Poetaster 10

Tuesday 15 November 2011 14:48

Asshat is someone who has their head so far up their ass that it looks like theory are wearing a butt for a hat

Poetaster 10

Tuesday 15 November 2011 15:06

Op, you can borrow the apples from my pic.... You seem to need a pair

Jason199615 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 15:08

Pull out your gat and cap them. What's your problem OP..

celticghost3 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 16:07

You're the damn asshat, I am glad that happened. Grow a pair, what is he gonna do? Beat you? Then he not only pays for new paint, but he goes to jail. Asshat.

lifelessons22222 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 16:38

That was quite confusing

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 15 November 2011 16:59

"Boy-I-say-boy, ya jus' don' *** wid a giant ****! Ya head mus' as sharp as a bowlin' ball!"

cheeez4u 8

Tuesday 15 November 2011 17:06

Duuude, you can't let people punk you like that. First of all, how do you not call the cops in that situation? I have an extreme disease long story short if someone knocked me off my feet I would need help to get back up so I'm in no position to defend myself. But that doesn't mean you have to be a little bitch. One time, Some big ******* black dude cut in front of my whole family at the airport claiming that everyone had to sit at their assigned seats. I fly a lot so I know for this particular airline everyone sits where they want. We came pretty close to blows but seeing how I was ready and willing to **** up his world he backed down. Worst case scenario, you end up in the hospital for standing up for yourself, dude goes to jail. You sir, are a pussy.