Dogs, Cars and Animals: Paintwork

Paintwork

By MY CAR - 15/11/2011 04:51 - United States

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 908

You deserved it 11 154

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Same thing different taste

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 391

You deserved it 50 988

By GoodDog - 09/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 855

You deserved it 51 893

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 020

You deserved it 2 894

By hold your horses pony boy - 18/04/2014 18:24 - United States

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 215

You deserved it 13 732

By MakeItMaaco - 11/07/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 932

You deserved it 3 769

By j - 04/06/2009 03:36 - Australia

Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 368

You deserved it 6 551

Bad Day for a Good Boy

By Dakota - 28/09/2017 04:30

Today, on my way home from work, I went to the car wash. When the spray jets hit the car, my dog jumped out of his crate, into the front seat, and onto a button lowering both back windows. I got both an exterior and interior wash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 929

You deserved it 930

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 02:07 - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 460

You deserved it 2 485

By sam - 17/01/2011 03:32

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 195

You deserved it 2 239

**** fox hunts

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 17:01

Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window, and cowered between my legs. He got out of the car, waded through the dogs, and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 258

Renesaga 8

Tuesday 15 November 2011 8:39

A dog doing a rain dance? Please tell me you recorded this and uploaded it to YouTube.

deviable 9

Tuesday 15 November 2011 8:40

Lasso that back bone back in and stage a tap dance on his face. With cleats.

Comments

Mooby 6

Sunday 1 January 2012 22:03

This FML was beautifully worded.

llk7932 2

Saturday 14 April 2012 21:35

You should have just backed up real fast til the dog fell of then run it over and take off. That would have pwnd him.

ToewsIsMyBro19 6

Saturday 14 April 2012 22:06

I'm sorry, I didn't follow ANY of that.

irateyou 9

Wednesday 11 July 2012 7:35

I'm fairly certain that dog is more valuable than you are, you piece of crap.

sulitak 27

Monday 8 April 2013 10:37

huh?

PandaSpots 10

Friday 17 August 2012 6:45

Are you trying to be funny?? FAIL

slappygecko 21

Wednesday 17 October 2012 12:38

See children, this is why you don't post stories immediately after they happen.

cwl727 32

Monday 28 April 2014 23:20

this FML made little sense to me.

thekirby 7

Monday 25 August 2014 6:10

Should have said " can you get your ass wipe of a mangy kit off my car before I shoot the bitch and bury it in a swamp of my shit?"

idefka 34

Saturday 17 October 2015 21:25

slowly drives off with man on car*

WhatsDatBruv 10

Tuesday 1 March 2016 10:32

YDI for being a pussy.

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 52 112

You deserved it 9 846

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I agree, your life sucks 42 279

You deserved it 10 771