Health: Panic - FML

Panic

By not a cancerous pimple - 31/01/2015 00:11 - United States - Chester Springs

Today, I felt a painful lump on my jaw. After going on Google, I was convinced I either had an infected tooth or jaw cancer. In a panic, I rushed to the dentist and told the receptionist the problem. She pulled the dentist from an appointment, and he felt around my jaw. It was just a pimple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 326

You deserved it 27 402

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Same thing different taste

Hypochondriac

By Stepheroni - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to the doctor to ask what the weird white lump was on my back, and if it was cancer. He told me it was the biggest pimple he'd ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 834

You deserved it 686

Racketeering

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 20:00 - United States - Isle

Today, I woke up to the most excruciating pain in my jaw. No dentist that takes my insurance has any openings, and the one doctor I can see to get antibiotics isn’t in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 103

By Toothy_Peg - 13/06/2009 15:13 - Australia

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 221

You deserved it 4 332

Spotted

By PlagueFace - 17/07/2020 17:01

Today, my dentist kept staring at me with a worried expression while working on me. Concerned that something was wrong with my teeth, I asked her what was the matter. She replied, "I'm not a dermatologist, but you should go to a doctor, I think you have staph." She was referring to my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 158

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 765

You deserved it 44 232

No pain, no gain

By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 04:00 - Canada

Today, I went to the dentist to get a cavity filled. The numbing medication didn't work, so I felt everything. I was in so much pain that I accidentally bit down on the dentist's finger, causing him to yell in agony. Now, I have to find a new dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 160

Strike while the iron is hot

By Hatim - 04/04/2023 08:00 - United Arab Emirates - Sharjah

Today, I had an appointment with my dentist to check for cavities. He told me that most of my teeth have cavities, and that I may need a root canal. In fact, I ended up actually getting a painful root canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 189

By noway - 22/03/2015 04:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 876

You deserved it 3 454

8 out 10 dentists

By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 02:01

Today, after having toothaches for about two years, which persisted even after I had the crack in my tooth repaired, I went to a different dentist and it turns out that the actual culprit is a hole in the neighboring tooth, which has had years to grow, unnoticed under the edge of my gums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 70

By fuckalltwitardsintheface - 20/09/2012 21:34 - United States - Lindsey

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 585

You deserved it 1 703

Next

Top comments

TrippingOnAcid 29

Saturday 31 January 2015 19:24

My diagnosis: Web MD induced hypochondria.

rhysfucker 24

Saturday 31 January 2015 19:26

(Red Foreman voice) Dumbass.

Comments

Kirbyzx 16

Wednesday 4 February 2015 13:38

Uhh how old are you? I've had those things nearly every other day since middle school.

Excalibur6669 15

Wednesday 18 May 2016 21:59

Was it in your mouth? Or on the exterior skin?

lucasj2345 7

Tuesday 5 September 2017 19:35

you don't sound too bright.

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Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

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I agree, your life sucks 78

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I agree, your life sucks 28 337

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