Health: Paperweight

Paperweight

By caramelkarma - 15/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag containing her Tax Materials. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 271

You deserved it 65 684

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Same thing different taste

Spectacle

By chunderful202 - 24/12/2012 08:46 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 810

You deserved it 41 550

Mom! Stop!

By Anonymous - 07/08/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 121

By loveurlifejk - 28/12/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 615

You deserved it 2 131

Wild night

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Norway

Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 743

You deserved it 30 559

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 34 438

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 864

You deserved it 4 377

TW: gross

By Unimpressed - 03/06/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 518

You deserved it 58 983

Drunk mom

By trailertrashyanditsucks - 26/07/2013 19:55 - United States - Porter

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 047

You deserved it 3 817

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 18:33 - Sweden

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 494

You deserved it 2 715

By Lilragu97 - 26/07/2012 05:14 - United States - Exeter

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 369

You deserved it 2 395

castnerinho 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:17

damn. still. your mom needs to find a better place to put her tax stuff. In a "bag of trash"? not sure bout that lol

may_cause_fail 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:17

Good luck crashing on mom's couch next time you get drunk. :D

Comments

sunshyne84_fml 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:42

She should have filed by now so it shouldnt be too bad.

Meow34 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:44

What happened next?

ohdamn_fml 2

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:44

That's what your mom gets for waiting until the last day

ManImCool 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:45

"...showed it no mercy" ROFLMAO LOLz ROFL OMG

acvball92 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:51

hahhaha this was very funny thanks for the FML i haven't laughed at an FML in a while.

ohhhhshizzz 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:53

LMAOROFLLOL. This is hilarious, but why does your mom have tax things in a trash bag? i'd keep it all in one huge purse, easier. =]

Ric3ball 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 2:10

ROFLOL

Columbia_fml 2

Thursday 16 April 2009 2:20

Hmmm her taxes are still in a trash bag a little before 3:47 pm on April 15... she was in huge trouble in the first place!

zbots 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 2:19

She deserved it. Important documents don't belong in bags near the door.

baumerino 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 2:22

YDI for not being a man and making it to the toilet...cover your mouth and sprint dude. you'll make it.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Capitalism Coworkers Relatable Am I overreacting? Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 237

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 126

You deserved it 3 083

The Top

Today, my water pipes froze and burst and I now have to take snow from my back yard and boil it down into water in order to flush my toilet. FML

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You deserved it 3 962

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 721

You deserved it 26 759

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I agree, your life sucks 31 085

You deserved it 7 721

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I agree, your life sucks 32 006

You deserved it 2 405

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I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 110

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 278

You deserved it 4 814