Alcohol, Drunk, Party and Health: Party animal

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 931

You deserved it 23 218

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Same thing different taste

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 5 406

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 919

You deserved it 10 325

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 774

You deserved it 11 474

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 4 988

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 305

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 820

You deserved it 2 839

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 273

You deserved it 12 023

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 081

By catt - 17/10/2014 20:12 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 546

You deserved it 4 054

PsychoMerk 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 23:53

what.the.****?

InsidiousChild 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 0:32

no, no u's havn't.

Comments

alaskanhybrid 5

Sunday 1 May 2011 14:44

OMGROFLOLMAO

meintx 9

Sunday 1 May 2011 14:52

That's just messed up. There's no way he'd be my fiancé or even boyfriend after that. What a douche bag. Clean the toilet with his toothbrush. Lol

Ozma_fml 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 14:55

Yeah, he would definitely be my ex. What is the average age of commenters here? 12 or 13? Most of you have obviously not lived much of a life if you think alcohol induced puking is worthy of bizarre behavior that borders on abuse. Wow.

annihil8or 15

Sunday 1 May 2011 15:29

Chase him with your hot iron, at least it will b good exercise

FMLsOhilarious 6

Sunday 1 May 2011 15:38

Your fiancée is awesome!

happy_dino 6

Sunday 1 May 2011 17:59

You should kick him in the nards and broke up with him then screamed "That'll teach ya!"

jbabe05 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:06

agh! oh it would be on after that! **** with him real good or kick him in the nuts! P.S. don't drink like that anymore :)

shaniecerb 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:16

im sorry,what did he do wrong?yea it was gross but he said "thatll teach u" or whatever so it probably means she gets shit-faced too often.so oh well dont b such a jr. alcoholic.ydi

Barney_Rubble_75 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 21:59

slip your engagement ring off your finger, put it in your pocket. walk/stumble out and say "ring fell in toilet. you wanna marry me, you get the ring out mo fo," then curl up & sleep, puke in his bed... whatever... but smile to yourself while you hear his dry-reaching and swearing from the bathroom. *winning*