Love, Relationships, Sex and Relatable: Perfect

Perfect

By Julian - 05/05/2021 02:01

Today, according to my wife, our life together is perfect. The only problem is that I no longer turn her on, haven’t for a while, so she wants my permission to have meaningless one-night stands with strangers on Tinder while carrying on with our perfect, sexless married life together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 197

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Same thing different taste

Impasse

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 04:00

Today, my wife and I have a perfect life together, nice house, nice cars, fun hobbies, fun holidays, love each other, lots of sex and so on. After 12 years of marital bliss, she wants to ruin all that by having a baby, and has even threatened divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 963

Stuck in a rut

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 20:00

Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 336

Permission granted and rejected

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 04:00

Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 120

Definitely maybe

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 00:00

Today, my marriage is more or less over, as my wife is so career-obsessed that when I asked if we could spend some time together, she rolled her eyes and gave me permission to sleep with other women, since sex is all I think about. I didn’t ask for sex, just time together. Definitely over I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 868

You deserved it 186

There must be other reasons

By Anonymous - 12/05/2022 00:01

Today, my wife is leaving me because I don’t satisfy her sexually. Chance would be a fine thing, every time I get romantic, all I get is, "I have a headache", "I think my period's coming", “Is sex all you think about?”, “What if the neighbours hear us?”, and my all time favourite, “Ew, not a chance.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 264

You deserved it 300

Perfect life

By Anonymous - 21/02/2022 10:00

Today, I seemingly have the perfect life. A clean house, a car, two well behaved kids, and stability in every way. I'm also quite good looking, with a good body and health. It's like out of a sitcom/postcard. The only catch is that my husband has literally zero libido and won't have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 359

Caught in 4K

By ScrewU - 17/08/2022 19:59 - United States

Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 156

Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 126

Like glue

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 10:01

Today, it's been almost 3 years since my wife has wanted sex, and I get turned down every time I ask. Even when I insist on a romantic date night, we just sit with no idea what to say to each other. How did we drift so far apart? The only thing keeping us together is the mortgage and the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 002

You deserved it 241

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 24/12/2021 05:01

Today, I had to have the awkward conversation with my wife of 20-plus years that the reason I’ve lost interest in sex is because our sex life has been mind numbingly boring for at least 15 of those years, always the same positions, never wanting to try anything new, just so boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 1 424

Charlie Given 26

Wednesday 5 May 2021 3:36

time for you to get a divorce and your own tender account and find somebody you can have sex with sounds like your wife is just using you ,you know kind of like being gafted.

Squeezy Jibs 2

Wednesday 5 May 2021 5:34

tell her that its a great idea. In fact, its such a great idea that you're going to divorce her so she can have all the meaningless sex she wants. seriously, divorce that bitch.

Comments

lostartist 5

Thursday 6 May 2021 1:07

Okay, so you may not like this but hear me out please. If you two really do love each other and the only thing that would cause a divorce is this then see if you can't work it out. Let her have the open relationship she's asking for and do some exploring yourself. It sounds like she wants to have a don't ask don't tell policy, which means if there is anything you want to try you can without fear of her judgment. It's not conventional but if you truly love each other and want things to work then it might not be a bad idea. Worst case scenario you end up as a cuck which in it own way can be fun and spicing things up, if you can get into that it.

LJCKiwi 3

Thursday 6 May 2021 18:28

Get your ass in the gym, foster relationships with other women and watch her squirm with insecurity. If you have kids, get out ASAP

Charles McClure 6

Thursday 6 May 2021 23:43

Honestly, I'd just be happy she opened up to you and told you about this before acting on it. You should ask if there are any ways you can spice up what you have before turning to one night stands. Either way one night stands is a two way street. Get you a side piece too if need be.