Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Queasy Lover - FML

Queasy Lover

By dizzy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Malaysia

Spicy

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 841

You deserved it 6 155

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

ambowew 7

Monday 7 March 2011 13:11

There's always the kitchen top, shower, pool table, car, hell even the ground if you're that way inclined. Abandon ship and find another, better place to port, Captain.

Jimboom 11

Monday 7 March 2011 12:30

Here is a top tip for waterbed sex for you OP. Just go with the motion of the ocean and ride the waves of pleasure until you are floating in a pool of orgasmic waterfalls. ;-)

Comments

saltypirate 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 6:45

you're a dumb ass for having sex before you get married!

wienerwagon 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 0:44

"Making love"? You deserve it.

Jaalro 2

Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:17

Haha

LMFAOaturface 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 22:21

your a winner.

Ivanmobile69 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 23:48

kinky

unholyswiss 19

Tuesday 22 March 2016 7:54

That actually sounds enjoyable, shame you had a volatile reaction to it OP, maybe you can work up to it.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 700

The Top

Today, in my architecture class, my professor's lecture consisted of a list of movies and books which feature characters who are architects. I couldn't leave because I needed the attendance points, and it lasted 45 minutes. I paid out of state tuition for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 514

You deserved it 4 102

Today, my mother told me that I "should have never had children" after I sided with my son when he yelled at her for talking too loudly. I have hyperacusis, and my son has sensory deprivation disorder. My mom knows this, and blames it on her friends who are hard of hearing. Nothing is ever her fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 160

Today, the host family that I'm staying with in China gave me a small milk box to drink. It tasted a bit tangy and sour, but I thought that was probably just the taste of milk in China. Trying to be polite, I practically chugged the whole box. Later, I found out that it had expired 20 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 539

You deserved it 370

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 738

You deserved it 4 837

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 621

You deserved it 6 077

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 783

You deserved it 4 204