Animals: React content

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 960

You deserved it 252 003

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Same thing different taste

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 690

You deserved it 6 400

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 253

By bodhimae - 03/05/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 095

You deserved it 2 376

By Mom2grls808 - 19/12/2018 20:00 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 15:55 - United States - Amsterdam

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 2 498

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

By Uh oh.... - 05/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 2 811

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 033

You deserved it 1 698

Merry Xmas

By Christmas sucks - 24/12/2012 01:03 - United States - Boston

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 879

You deserved it 4 769

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 100

truslide 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:02

LMAO must have been a hard kick to do that and even then, why the hell would you kick a cat that hard?

uhmfml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:02

I don't think your child will be crawling in your bed anymore for a while... if ever.

Comments

Luckycookie 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 8:07

thats just AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rallets 22

Wednesday 3 June 2009 8:09

but how could they feel bad? "omg i just kicked my 2yr-old into the wall. this is sooo going on FML."

prettyxdemented 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 8:10

Some people start punching whatever is in their way as soon as they are woken up, without thought or consciousness. OP is probably one of those people... probs did it in his/her sleep *unconsciously* and it came out harder than intended. I bet OP didn't even realize it even happened until the kid started screaming and thus woke OP up. Seriously, just because some of you wake up all chirping birds and sunshine and skip merrily out of bed doesn't mean others do. I've known people who have punched their own mothers in the jaw without any remembrance of it when their moms try to wake them up for school. It happens. It was probably an unconscious, sleeping reflex. And how the **** many of you have owned a cat? Cats can take it. Throwing a cat into a wall will not hurt it, just piss it off for a while. It's not like she sets the ******* cats on fire or throws them into the microwave. Animal abuse? My ass. Calm the **** down.

monicamischief 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 8:10

@ 564 are you suggesting that people who have children should never sleep? wtf? did YOUR mother stay up ALL night when you were a child? i don't think so and @ whatever the number was: if you weren't a hick, you would have understood what i was saying and not use the world y'all

vicv666 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 8:11

Why the f*ck would you hit your cat anyway. Is more like a FHL

monicamischief 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 8:16

@ 582u you have never, ever nudged a cat off your lap? off a table? i really don't think the OP was trying to punt the cat. is everyone really this ******* stupid? really? REALLY?