Animals: React content

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 960

You deserved it 252 003

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 690

You deserved it 6 400

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 253

By bodhimae - 03/05/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 095

You deserved it 2 376

By Mom2grls808 - 19/12/2018 20:00 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 15:55 - United States - Amsterdam

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 2 498

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

By Uh oh.... - 05/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 2 811

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 033

You deserved it 1 698

Merry Xmas

By Christmas sucks - 24/12/2012 01:03 - United States - Boston

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 879

You deserved it 4 769

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 100

truslide 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:02

LMAO must have been a hard kick to do that and even then, why the hell would you kick a cat that hard?

uhmfml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:02

I don't think your child will be crawling in your bed anymore for a while... if ever.

Comments

mustangsami118 5

Friday 5 June 2009 23:03

if you would kick ur cat off the bed..your a disgusting human being..someone should come take away your cats and your kids

go_falcons 0

Friday 5 June 2009 23:07

I love the dumbasses who don't even bother to read the real story.

pn0ys0fresh 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 3:21

ahh i gots to say is AWWWW poor babyy

awsnapitsrachel 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 4:15

lol

dtowen414 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 4:31

Holy shit man my side still hurts from this

DoctorManhattan 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 7:05

This is one of the funniest ones I've read in a while.

guitaristcarts12 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 7:37

How ******* hard do you kick your cats???

Claire_bear 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 8:29

OMGG!! So the intelligent people(who aren't 12, obviously) on this site have already extablished that.. a) This is not animal abuse! b)This is not child abuse! c)The OP did not literally "kick" her daughter across a room. That's physically impossible. We are now almost at 900 comments yet every other comment is something like,"OMG, u kick ur cats?!" NOOOO, she is NOT an animal abuser. And the whole child abuse thing just pisses me off. Child abuse is not a joke, so stop trying to make it one. Stop making judgements about the OP. You have absolutely no right to tell her how to raise her child. The kid probably doesn't even have a scratch and I'm 100% positive that a 2-year-old would have already forgotten the incident. Honestly the world is full of so many more stupid people than I thought..

Silas_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 10:50

And then, a silent moment occurred. And all around the world, you could hear the keyboards of intelligent people crunch, and almost SEE the majestic keys that had brought upon so many brilliant words go flying across the room, as heads met desks in a triumphant kiss of passion since and yet unseen.