Animals: React content

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 960

You deserved it 252 003

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 690

You deserved it 6 400

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 253

By bodhimae - 03/05/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 095

You deserved it 2 376

By Mom2grls808 - 19/12/2018 20:00 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 15:55 - United States - Amsterdam

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 2 498

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

By Uh oh.... - 05/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 2 811

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 033

You deserved it 1 698

Merry Xmas

By Christmas sucks - 24/12/2012 01:03 - United States - Boston

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 879

You deserved it 4 769

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 100

truslide 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:02

LMAO must have been a hard kick to do that and even then, why the hell would you kick a cat that hard?

uhmfml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:02

I don't think your child will be crawling in your bed anymore for a while... if ever.

Comments

nick0427 0

Monday 8 June 2009 5:13

1. your lieing 2. your kid would be dead. 3. why the **** would you kick anything off your bed. especially that hard. 4. normally you look before you decide to kick anything anywhere. Today, i felt something touch my foot. Thinking it was a soccer ball i kicked it. It ended up being my chihuahua. FML. Thats basically what you sounded like. Cause that's so believable!

go_falcons 0

Monday 8 June 2009 6:18

Once again, if you dumbasses would look up not even 50 comments, you would see the real story. For those who are mentally unable to do this, I shall post it again. Ok, ok. Let's clarify this one more time. I'm the person who is mentioned in this post. I'm a guy and it was my dad who kicked me off. I am perfectly fine. No therapists, brain damage, none of that. My dad didn't "go Bruce Lee" on me like most of you assume. It was more of a heavy shove. My dad is allergic to cats, so he didn't want dander on the sheets. Thats why he would "kick" the cat off of the bed. And yes, the bed was close to the wall. I didn't fly 6 feet across the room and slam into a wall. Better?

F2L2O2R2I2S 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 1:00

So you say you are the kid that got kicked off the bed? And you suddenly had a sexchange and skipped a few years of life to make this post? Loser >_>

razzumfrazzum 0

Monday 8 June 2009 7:13

Nick0427.......you're an idiot for so many different things regarding your post. Godyourrethick.....you're an idiot as well, but only for basically saying its ok to kick kids and not cats. You should DIAF. The two of you should read go_falcons post being that thats the OP. 91 more post to 1000 Woot! Woot!

yourfacerules 0

Monday 8 June 2009 11:45

HHAHA LOL I LOLED AT THIS you kick your cats off your bed?

Hayis4horses 0

Monday 8 June 2009 13:16

well you shouldnt kick your cats dumbass, thats what you get when you do stupid things. you kicked your own kid because you were trying to be a dick to a cat. tard.

go_falcons 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 0:19

Cmon, all we need is 94 more dumbasses who can't read in order to break 1,000!! Keep 'em comin!

ohhboyy 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:09

LMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAO

Silas_fml 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 14:20

1. your lieing 2. your kid would be dead. 3. why the **** would you kick anything off your bed. especially that hard. 4. normally you look before you decide to kick anything anywhere. ^ This one is my favourite. ONLY NINETY FOUR MORE! WE CAN DO IT! IDIOTS, KEEP ON COMING! Go Falcons, you may make FML history. This is the only post I've come back to comment on more than three times.