Sleep, Accident and Conspiracy theorist: Remember when conspiracy theories were fun?

Remember when conspiracy theories were fun?

By ET. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 001

You deserved it 2 706

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Top comments

jpoole 4

Friday 9 December 2011 9:01

No your fat ass just knocked her out of bed and she mistook the fat folds for eyes and a mouth. Yay for negative votes!

WCARlover 34

Friday 9 December 2011 9:03

Did you do "out-of-this-world" stuff in bed the night before? Okay, I'll be going now...

Comments

melissafleming 7

Friday 9 December 2011 9:05

shes a keeper...;)

TheTheo 0

Friday 9 December 2011 9:06

I really wanna make an anal sex joke, but those are a bit worn out, just like your wife after last night in the spaceship? No really, FYL and good luck in future endeavors.

Nolnah 14

Friday 9 December 2011 9:08

That's why I have life alert, soo when I fall out of my bed I just press the button..

FYLDeep 25

Friday 9 December 2011 9:34

"Help, I'm abducted and I can't get home!"

LuxAeterna_fml 0

Friday 9 December 2011 9:09

Legit theory.

artsyfox 3

Friday 9 December 2011 9:10

The real Fml would be when she starts walking around with foiled antenas trying to "communicate" with them...

Mister_Triangle 21

Friday 9 December 2011 9:52

Foil antennas block the communication, duh!

shazza26 1

Friday 9 December 2011 9:12

When the aliens come they take the fat ones first!

suoerkewl 15

Friday 9 December 2011 9:19

Yeah, they're more filling.

porcelainkisses 5

Friday 9 December 2011 9:14

Go along with it to freak her out a bit

beccalyn244 4

Friday 9 December 2011 9:15

just agree with her haha

pdHbq 2

Friday 9 December 2011 9:16

Oh... The things that go bump in the night...

umm_Talk 9

Friday 9 December 2011 9:16

They're out there man.......

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 1 026

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, I sold a dresser on OfferUp. When I arrive at the customer’s house to deliver it and discussed the payment, she got upset and called me a selfish, greedy bitch because she’s a "single mom on food stamps." She berated me to the point of tears. I left without getting my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 661

Today, I took some leftover Indian food to work, and commented to a coworker that I loved to cook recipes from other cultures. Later, I got a hearing with HR about cultural appropriation. The HR rep said, "Stick to plain chicken and boiled potatoes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 162

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 550

You deserved it 4 497

Today, my father-in law-shared his opinion that autistic kids should be beaten until they act normal. He saw fit to share this while my autistic son was having a meltdown because my father-in-law came to the house without warning, and my son violently hates visitors without prior warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 451

You deserved it 282

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 422

You deserved it 1 891

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 824

You deserved it 4 481