Sleep, Accident and Conspiracy theorist: Remember when conspiracy theories were fun?

Remember when conspiracy theories were fun?

By ET. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 001

You deserved it 2 706

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Top comments

jpoole 4

Friday 9 December 2011 9:01

No your fat ass just knocked her out of bed and she mistook the fat folds for eyes and a mouth. Yay for negative votes!

WCARlover 34

Friday 9 December 2011 9:03

Did you do "out-of-this-world" stuff in bed the night before? Okay, I'll be going now...

Comments

TheDeadlyTurtle 7

Saturday 10 December 2011 12:42

We all know u kicked her out of bed for farting in her sleep lol jk.

angryoriental 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 18:03

Was there anal probing? Nothing worse than waking up with a mouthful of pillow and a sore ass... Just ask my gf

dansco 24

Tuesday 13 December 2011 7:56

Probably the anal probe you gave her... She sounds rather bonkers, rather you than me lol

SGail101 2

Wednesday 21 December 2011 9:44

every night from now on I'd push her out of the bed!!! LOL

patriots1287 2

Sunday 7 June 2015 5:23

Maybe she just spaced out lol

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Work Relatable My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 403

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 609

You deserved it 51 975

The Top

Today, I found an unfamiliar ring in my purse. Thinking it was fake, I gave it to a little girl. Thanks to my mother, I later found out that the ring was my grandmother's and it was made of gold and had a real ruby. My mother added that my grandmother trusted me to keep it in our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 163

You deserved it 31 845

Today, at the mall, my 4-year-old son threw up on a man's shoes. When he approached me, I immediately machine-gun mouthed him in public. The man apparently is a doctor and concernedly said that my son may have a rare gastric disease based on the puke. I got him checked, and he's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 7 091

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 603

You deserved it 2 303

Today, I was having some fun with a guy, but I had to fake orgasm twice just so he would get out of me it was that shit. Third guy in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 1 137

Today, seconds after my mom put my Yorkie onto my bed, he threw up. His head was not fully over the bed itself, so the wet chunks fell straight into my backpack onto my new school books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 381

You deserved it 3 587

Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 742

You deserved it 4 549