Sleep, Accident and Conspiracy theorist: Remember when conspiracy theories were fun?

Remember when conspiracy theories were fun?

By ET. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 999

You deserved it 2 706

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

jpoole 4

Friday 9 December 2011 9:01

No your fat ass just knocked her out of bed and she mistook the fat folds for eyes and a mouth. Yay for negative votes!

WCARlover 34

Friday 9 December 2011 9:03

Did you do "out-of-this-world" stuff in bed the night before? Okay, I'll be going now...

Comments

TheDeadlyTurtle 7

Saturday 10 December 2011 12:42

We all know u kicked her out of bed for farting in her sleep lol jk.

angryoriental 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 18:03

Was there anal probing? Nothing worse than waking up with a mouthful of pillow and a sore ass... Just ask my gf

dansco 24

Tuesday 13 December 2011 7:56

Probably the anal probe you gave her... She sounds rather bonkers, rather you than me lol

SGail101 2

Wednesday 21 December 2011 9:44

every night from now on I'd push her out of the bed!!! LOL

patriots1287 2

Sunday 7 June 2015 5:23

Maybe she just spaced out lol

Keywords

Love Proposal Awkward Management Capitalism Work Cats Cute Instagram Social Media Weddings Embarrassing Miscellaneous Party Health Parents Mental health Confused Food Cars Transportation Sex Family Annoying Pregnancy Kids My ex Airport Solitude Lonely

The Top

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 881

You deserved it 3 940

Today, the man of my dreams who I met online and have been exchanging messages with day and night for weeks asked the dreaded question: “Can you send me a full body pic?” It’s been 5 years since I had a guy hit me up. I weigh 300 lbs and look like a potato with legs. I don’t wanna lose him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 1 061

The Top

Today, after my fiancé and I recently separated, their choice not mine, we decided to stay friends, and still live in the same house. Now I get the pleasure of listening to him flirt and have long conversations with some girl every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 981

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 343

You deserved it 20 060

Today, I was called into my first day of work as a cashier. Not even 30 minutes into training, my boss had already "accidentally" touched my ass 7 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 284

You deserved it 2 728

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 960

You deserved it 29 459

Today, I was walking to the shops when I saw my friend about 10 metres in front of me, waiting at the traffic lights, by herself. Jokingly, I shouted out "Who's that really ugly person waiting at the lights?" The girl turned around. It wasn't my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 950

You deserved it 45 191

Today, while struggling to find a job that will accommodate my disabilities, an acquaintance ranted at me about how nobody wants to work hard, and they have to earn what they get. This chucklefuck works for his father, will inherit a multi-million dollar business, and bought his house from his aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 149