Food and Love: Romance is corny - FML

Romance is corny

By ipopnlok - 29/06/2009 06:31 - Australia

Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house, I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied, "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 024

You deserved it 15 038

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Same thing different taste

By fmylovelife - 27/06/2011 23:45 - United States

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 485

You deserved it 3 472

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 377

You deserved it 5 495

Disconnected

By Chrissy - 08/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was having a romantic dinner with my girlfriend when she said she had a confession. I expected something cute. Instead, she told me she’s been "reconnecting" with her ex for the past month... and wants to go back to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 56

The best laid plans…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 18:00

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 150

A+ for Effort

By Anonymous - 14/02/2017 22:40 - United States - Monroe

Today, being Valentine's Day, I went all out for my wife with flowers, a candlelit dinner, and tickets to a broadway show. The flowers arrived dead, the dinner sucked, and my wife hated the show. Afterwards, I tried to be intimate, but apparently I smelled like a shart trapped in a pant leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 042

You deserved it 741

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 20:00 - Canada

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 982

You deserved it 7 330

By cuteloser - 04/10/2014 13:57 - Australia

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 342

You deserved it 7 565

Ouch

By Roses are Red - 07/03/2013 06:07 - United States - Ridgeland

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 550

You deserved it 13 341

By Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 211

You deserved it 4 267

Nice try

By forgottenbday - 11/07/2012 05:09 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 631

You deserved it 2 765

Next

Top comments

lifebarelyeffed 0

Monday 29 June 2009 18:51

then good thing she's your ex

Remegy 3

Monday 29 June 2009 19:42

''romantic dinner? hell no, we're going to Wendy's''

Comments

geenna 4

Wednesday 6 October 2010 23:16

I mean your...^^^. btw ouchhh

gobluemegan 1

Friday 31 December 2010 8:55

It probably ended because you didnt know eachother well enough, fail.

ur2nvthis85 3

Tuesday 15 March 2011 6:23

She called it! score! No, but really that sucks OP.

3dolla3dolla 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 5:09

lol sounds like you know her really well by now

jhh0991 5

Sunday 8 January 2012 19:27

Damn!

Parisgirl34 12

Monday 4 June 2012 19:38

I feel so bad for you

1030295 6

Tuesday 10 July 2012 5:50

She sounds lovely.

koalaface 4

Friday 7 December 2012 9:19

What a *****

funnynanners 6

Wednesday 21 May 2014 22:29

That's why u never go after your ex

SchelleForelle 18

Tuesday 17 March 2015 5:11

What a unromantic Bi**h

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I took my girlfriend out to Outback Steakhouse. We went to one outside of town because my wife works at our local one. When we got there, guess who we saw? I forgot she transferred to another location, which just happened to be this one. Goddamit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 1 720

Today, I was grocery shopping when a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mommy, look! It's the man from the cereal box!" I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I respectfully asked my landlady if he could stay with me until he gets back on his feet. He was robbed at gunpoint in his house last night. Landlady then yelled because we aren't married, and then showed up at my door at 10pm, "just making sure John isn't here". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 415

You deserved it 1 894

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 997

You deserved it 31 404

Today, the creepy dude I’d been desperately trying to avoid was able to figure out which building I work in, the general vicinity of my house and which restaurants I frequent. He learned all this by the gifts I sent, not knowing it was him, on the Pokémon Go app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 582

Today, my parents forced me to write a thank you letter to my uncle who passed away a week after Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 213

You deserved it 1 309

Today, I realized after sending out countless copies of my resume to companies, I failed to add my phone number on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 255

You deserved it 31 737

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 775

You deserved it 5 140