Food and Love: Romance is corny

Romance is corny

By ipopnlok - 29/06/2009 06:31 - Australia

Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house, I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied, "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 024

You deserved it 15 038

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By fmylovelife - 27/06/2011 23:45 - United States

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 485

You deserved it 3 472

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 377

You deserved it 5 495

Disconnected

By Chrissy - 08/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was having a romantic dinner with my girlfriend when she said she had a confession. I expected something cute. Instead, she told me she’s been "reconnecting" with her ex for the past month... and wants to go back to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 56

The best laid plans…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 18:00

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 150

A+ for Effort

By Anonymous - 14/02/2017 22:40 - United States - Monroe

Today, being Valentine's Day, I went all out for my wife with flowers, a candlelit dinner, and tickets to a broadway show. The flowers arrived dead, the dinner sucked, and my wife hated the show. Afterwards, I tried to be intimate, but apparently I smelled like a shart trapped in a pant leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 042

You deserved it 741

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 20:00 - Canada

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 982

You deserved it 7 330

By cuteloser - 04/10/2014 13:57 - Australia

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 342

You deserved it 7 565

Ouch

By Roses are Red - 07/03/2013 06:07 - United States - Ridgeland

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 550

You deserved it 13 341

By Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 211

You deserved it 4 267

Nice try

By forgottenbday - 11/07/2012 05:09 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 631

You deserved it 2 765

lifebarelyeffed 0

Monday 29 June 2009 18:51

then good thing she's your ex

Remegy 3

Monday 29 June 2009 19:42

''romantic dinner? hell no, we're going to Wendy's''

Comments

Avenging_Angel 0

Monday 29 June 2009 22:16

People actually do that shit?? I thought that was just in movies 

Colby_Colbert 0

Monday 29 June 2009 22:22

she sounds like a keeper!

KINGMARIO_fml 0

Monday 29 June 2009 22:23

exact same FML as the spa day one. god people sart being original

valuemeal2 1

Monday 29 June 2009 22:48

Um... why would you do that for someone who's your EX? Sorry, but YDI.

Topguy 0

Monday 29 June 2009 23:10

fail...

Brittanii 0

Monday 29 June 2009 23:23

dangg.. she knew wat u was up too

cielo_fml 0

Monday 29 June 2009 23:44

Well, she sounds like a pleasant girl. I can see why you would want her back....not.

Key_of_Heart 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 1:05

aww, u seem sweet. she doesn't deserve u anyway. =P

andrewms 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 1:21

She knew beforehand... Try getting better friends...

Impact009 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 1:35

What did you do then?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 712

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 169

The Top

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 061

You deserved it 36 572

Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 582

You deserved it 4 272

Today, while working at my new job at a surgery center, I noticed how odd it was that the room began to smell like fried chicken. I thought it smelt pretty good, until I learned it was actually the smell of someone getting their ear cauterized. I enjoyed the smell of someone's burning ear flesh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 241

You deserved it 1 761

Today, since my alarm didn’t go off at 7 a.m., I awoke to my mother attempting to perform Necromancy on me “as a joke.” She wore a black robe and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 215

Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 119

Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold… and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 811

You deserved it 3 908