Sex, Romantic and Intimacy: Romance me please - FML

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 792

You deserved it 6 071

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 113

You deserved it 10 955

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Spicy

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 144

You deserved it 36 928

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

By stun_zeed - 17/01/2017 10:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 145

You deserved it 1 274

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 685

You deserved it 60 137

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 6 277

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 068

You deserved it 4 505

By Anonymous - 15/03/2012 11:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 176

You deserved it 3 727

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 959

You deserved it 7 658

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 806

You deserved it 5 456

Next

Top comments

bananabuttercup 8

Saturday 3 December 2011 15:54

That is weird on so many levels.

Savra_fml 17

Saturday 3 December 2011 15:54

Coin slot?

Comments

casey1021 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 16:39

Wat is a meat wallet lol?

ladycamo 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 19:50

im pretty sure it said that in the fml

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Saturday 3 December 2011 21:58

How old are you exactly?

wildman1056 7

Saturday 3 December 2011 22:33

You are cute but SUCH a dope.

graham11 14

Sunday 4 December 2011 1:03

104- and a brain the size of a coin..

jessimica642 8

Sunday 4 December 2011 3:06

Sigh...

Okayitwasme 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 16:41

Well it could be worse! She could have said it was a meat locker, And you a small steak! If you have a hand full of change to fill that small Wallet it's all good!

bananagrams 9

Saturday 3 December 2011 16:53

Doesn't matter had sex! Sorry, I know it's an overly used comment, but it applies here

jamesrod885 6

Saturday 3 December 2011 16:53

its sad she has such a big slot after all ccurrency is The same size

krnpanda 2

Saturday 3 December 2011 16:55

Still counts!

snafubar 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 16:58

Does she accept debit?

Savra_fml 17

Saturday 3 December 2011 17:59

*transaction fees applicable

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 3 December 2011 20:16

Op feels like a Rush card to her.

TheBlackCops 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 17:17

At least it's not a meat purse.

christinnaaa 10

Saturday 3 December 2011 17:20

I'd Like this if it was a Facebook status (:

Mr_Wonderful 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 6:03

I like you ****, but you should go back to Facebook

peteyfas 8

Sunday 4 December 2011 6:15

Haha, agreed. Way to show off your assets

crudeandrudeguy 29

Monday 21 September 2015 2:42

Meh. Mediocre at best

Kingbreezy04 10

Saturday 3 December 2011 17:21

Sucks to have "small change"

Steve95401 49

Saturday 3 December 2011 17:31

OP's girlfriend got tired of asking "Is it in yet?".

bearsy 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 17:42

Ur wife at the dinner table got tired of asking " are you done yet".

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 148

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 895

You deserved it 2 259

The Top

Today, I went to my little brother's high school to speak to his counselor about his grades. On my way to the office, the office manager threatened to write me up for ditching class and told me that high school is not like middle school, 9th grade will be different. I graduated 5 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 564

You deserved it 244

Today, our cat died. My husband and I had a touching bonding moment together. Our relationship has been strained for months, and I thought this could bring us closer. He decided to bring up politics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 980

You deserved it 596

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

Today, I met an old school friend at a leisure centre swimming pool. We talked for a while and then walked to the end of the pool. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she kneed me in the nuts and pushed me into the water. Once I got up from the water, she told me It was for being mean to her at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 905

Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 445

You deserved it 7 431

Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 854

You deserved it 47 334