Health, Sleep, Wake up and Injury: Rude awakening

Rude awakening

By oww - 15/11/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 256

You deserved it 3 399

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 107

You deserved it 3 325

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 002

You deserved it 4 478

That escalated quickly

By marrying this man - 10/10/2023 07:30

Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 284

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 944

You deserved it 3 987

Psychopath's joke

By hannieannie - 20/11/2019 01:00

Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 042

You deserved it 258

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 160

You deserved it 9 526

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 940

You deserved it 12 978

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 119

You deserved it 3 814

By ouchmyeye - 10/06/2011 04:59 - United States

Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 702

You deserved it 5 124

By jellybean - 06/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 805

You deserved it 11 010

FederalAgent 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 23:23

Your wording is the funniest part i.e... "my lamp next to me in bed" "yanked while I was sleeping"

CallMeHush 0

Monday 16 November 2009 1:08

Well, you got to admit that it must have been funny to watch.

Comments

lostfaithinpppl 19

Monday 16 November 2009 2:13

OP, you want us to feel sorry for you because of your bad choice in boyfriends? A choice that is entirely YOURS? Wait while I pull out the world's smallest violin.

Maddoctor 10

Monday 16 November 2009 5:42

Well, hundreds of other people who post the same kinds of FML's do. I don't really see how this is different, so I'll wait until you get back from commenting on the other 200+ people's FML's telling them it's their fault they picked a bad bf/gf that ended up being mean/embarassing their partner/cheating on them.

SarcasticAvenger 9

Monday 16 November 2009 6:35

You're 17, you know jacksh*t about life. When you reach adult hood, then you can comment on life. Until then, go hang out with Paris and Lindsay.

SarcasticAvenger 9

Monday 16 November 2009 7:29

My comment was towards Maddoctor btw.

Maddoctor 10

Tuesday 17 November 2009 3:36

Ok, I'm 17 so I'm a naive dumbass who cares nothing about shopping and gossiping about "Paris and Lindsay"? Do you know me? Didn't think so. At least I'm brave enough to put my actual age on FML. Oh and PS, even if you're ten years older than me, ripping on someone younger than you to make yourself feel better makes you look so cool. Get a life.

tikatica 17

Friday 19 February 2016 21:32

The boyfriend was more icing on the cake. Waking up with a bloody nose should be an FML in itself

SarcasticAvenger 9

Monday 16 November 2009 2:18

OP, time to dump his ass! There are plenty of fish out there, trust me. I found an AWESOME girlfriend, after dating some real pain rude and mean people....like your boyfriend.

Jenny444_fml 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:28

OP obviously you have a choice either get even lol or let it be. I feel bad for his choice to not even help but i guess he has his sense of humor. Hopefully it works out in the end

dearambivalence 0

Monday 16 November 2009 3:58

FYL . . . but it was probably funny.

mister_moops 0

Monday 16 November 2009 5:03

you guys are ******* morons. this is the same as any other prank that might happen. i bet a girl could cry about getting a water balloon thrown at her by her boyfriend here and half of you would say "omg dump him he obviously doesn't love you"

Brooklynxman 0

Monday 16 November 2009 8:01

You left out an ex. Seriously, when will we stop making mistakes on fml's. Whats that? She didn't leave out the ex? Oh, then she's an idiot who deserves it and needs to learn to dump this losers ass pronto.

Ninjaface 0

Monday 16 November 2009 8:10

It "fell" on you, huh? You really expect us to believe that? Next time, don't get caught cheating cheating on your boyfriend with the lamp and he won't punch you in the nose.