Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 173
You deserved it 5 864
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Top comments

WCARlover 34

I'll keep that in mind for when I have kids lol

496 13
kikiwi_fml 9

Looks like your dad has it figured out.

336 4

Comments

tylersign 11

The talk is now rendered useless. Dads will, from now on, just use the "sex stare".

105 1
RooBooBear 0

Oh you poor child D:

4 5
JinxosGirl87 0

Once you look at the sexy, lusty face of your boyfriend, all ugly dad stares will flee your mind.

50 2
sheethapins 13

That's why there's a female symbol by the FML, because op's a guy. Good job, sport.

23 0
deadbabies 0

OP, you're gonna stay a virgin, meet the man of your dreams, wait until marriage for sex, and his O face is gonna be the face your dad made. Calling it now

68 2
clemcool_fml 0

Your dad has this "encouraging abstinence" thing down pat. Brilliant idea.

13 1
rainbo955 0

That is an epic dad. Lucky your dad didn't say "if you ever decide to have sex, just remember, I have a shot gun in my closet."

37 0
jewelsfml 0

how funny! I'm so having my husband do that when my girls are older! bahaha!

32 3
Enslaved 36

Believe me, in the heat of the moment, you'll forget all about daddy! Haha, my dad gave me "the sex talk" during a two minute commercial break. Thank God!

17 3
The_Troller 14

My parents gave it me when I was 12 and told me "not to get any girls pregnant". Very awkward.

7 1
Enslaved 36

Mine was during a UM game. Turned to me and said: "If you plan to have sex, it might be smart to be on the pill". *crickets*

11 1
drawmesunshine 17

Am I the only one who didn't get a "sex talk" from my parents? :/

37 0
Capt_Oblivious 10

Yes, yes you are. Feel lucky.

5 1
Capt_Oblivious 10

You could watch animal planet and learn those facts. Just an FYI, you won't need to rip their head off with our species.

6 1
tylersign 11

54- You're not alone :D

10 1
KiddNYC1O 20

54- I second that.

7 0
Humanspider 18

I did not get the sex talk either. I heard the talk is horrible.

4 0
roseXthorns 8

54- no. I have not received the talk either. I'm fifteen.

1 1
5t3ff1k4h 44

My mother and I had a very interesting version of the 'talk'. "You haven't had sex yet, have you?" "...Years ago." /walks away

2 1
Katastrophe101 8

Consider yourselves lucky. My mom gave me the talk in the car. No escape.

2 1
robotic_families 0

My mom gave me the sex talk while we were stuck in gridlock on the Baltimore Beltway. Guess she knew I'd try to escape otherwise. -_-;;

0 1