Sex and Intimacy: Sexy talk

Sexy talk

By suckstosuck - 23/07/2013 04:04 - United States - Dana Point

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 765

You deserved it 13 691

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Same thing different taste

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 424

You deserved it 49 349

By toughbf - 27/09/2011 08:28 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 834

You deserved it 3 800

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 459

You deserved it 6 328

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 197

You deserved it 9 151

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 408

You deserved it 47 605

By unforgettablee - 29/04/2013 07:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 742

You deserved it 13 044

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 421

You deserved it 4 472

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 689

You deserved it 9 297

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 19:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 902

You deserved it 10 904

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 423

You deserved it 6 869

jsp16 24

Tuesday 23 July 2013 12:13

Is your boyfriend Chris Brown?

PimpdaddyCJT 13

Tuesday 23 July 2013 12:16

I guess he's not into the whole 'lets do some kinky shit in bed thing' huh?

Comments

AngrySailor 17

Tuesday 23 July 2013 13:41

!POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!"

joyce71 5

Tuesday 23 July 2013 13:42

I get your thing twice you ask you to do that again and how did you get spanking confused punch in the face

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 23 July 2013 17:23

WTF? My reading skills are being punished, right in the face!

miyaviichan 27

Tuesday 23 July 2013 18:48

This is the greatest comment ever. Am I high?

boomer1986 8

Tuesday 23 July 2013 13:59

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

buddy51 23

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:02

OP- Are you dating Ralph Kramden?

dawood_k 27

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:18

Blue eye movie

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 23 July 2013 16:27

More like black & blue eye movie.

SavannahSunshine 26

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:35

Did he actually???

WhiteCrimson 23

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:42

Well im assuming he is pissed off with you for ruining the moment..... Just my opinion

Xivion 19

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:52

But it's opposite day...

jaredfry17 7

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:58

Even if it's a turnoff for him, he should have played along with it for you...

braceinevitable 8

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:58

Sometimes you just need to let it happen... Just saying

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 885

You deserved it 61 102

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 702

The Top

Today, I had my pill check and the nurse cautioned me that my BMI says I'm obese. I'm an elite powerlifter and my weight is this high on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 139

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 312

You deserved it 3 866

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 185

You deserved it 36 010

Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 094

Today, my husband is divorcing me, leaving our 4 children behind because, and I quote, “She’s 22, 5’3 with perky tits and ass, you don’t find women like these often.” I asked him three times if he was serious. He said, “As serious as a heart attack.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 663

You deserved it 249

Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 155

Sexy talk

Same thing different taste

Orders

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