Sex and Intimacy: Sexy talk

Sexy talk

By suckstosuck - 23/07/2013 04:04 - United States - Dana Point

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 765

You deserved it 13 691

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Same thing different taste

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 424

You deserved it 49 349

By toughbf - 27/09/2011 08:28 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 834

You deserved it 3 800

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 459

You deserved it 6 328

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 197

You deserved it 9 151

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 408

You deserved it 47 605

By unforgettablee - 29/04/2013 07:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 742

You deserved it 13 044

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 421

You deserved it 4 472

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 689

You deserved it 9 297

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 19:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 902

You deserved it 10 904

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 423

You deserved it 6 869

jsp16 24

Tuesday 23 July 2013 12:13

Is your boyfriend Chris Brown?

PimpdaddyCJT 13

Tuesday 23 July 2013 12:16

I guess he's not into the whole 'lets do some kinky shit in bed thing' huh?

Comments

Protagonist_ 9

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:00

YDI for dating a D-bag.

ottokat 15

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:29

Hey 17, what do you think 50 Shades of Grey IS??

acerredrum 23

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:31

#40 as someone who is into kinky BDSM I can say with some certainty that 50 Shades of Gray is an abusive relationship pretending to be BDSM.

MidnaLink 33

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:38

Leave. Now.

graceinsheepwear 33

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:53

You don't have to time travel anywhere. Google domestic discipline. It's alive and well and living next door.

sugarbear0727 19

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:54

By far one of my favorites. Don't tell him what to do, guys hate that. Unless they've told you otherwise.

graceinsheepwear 33

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:57

41, you are a girl after my own heart. I second that emotion.

kewpiesuicide 29

Tuesday 23 July 2013 16:05

Am I the only one who doesn't see anything wrong with this?

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 23 July 2013 16:56

I don't think it was the right moment for him...and for some reason that sounds familiar...

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Tuesday 23 July 2013 17:01

I got a good chuckle out of this. Sounds like something my hubby would say hahaha

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 485

You deserved it 38 931

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 865

You deserved it 5 424

The Top

Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 056

You deserved it 1 672

Today, after reading a very emotional article about always letting your loved ones know how much you love them in case it's your last time seeing them, I went to my mom and told her how much I loved her and how thankful I was for everything. Her reply? "Shut up kid, Vince Vaughn is on Ellen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 999

You deserved it 4 571

Today, I went to the Chick-fil-A drive through. Instead of asking me my name for my order, I was greeted by my name. I asked how he knew it, and he responded by saying he makes it a point to remember all the great customers' names. He added that I come there all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 980

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 081

You deserved it 12 236

Today, I was trying to give my friend a present for his birthday. Unfortunately, he and most of my friends are loud extroverts. After what seemed like an hour of waiting for them to shut their pie holes so I could give my present to him, I just left it on the table and walked out. No one even noticed I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 348

Today, I found I’m pregnant. I hooked up with my ex when my now boyfriend and I had broken up for a week. My ex doesn’t want kids. It’s most likely my ex's kid. My boyfriend has now proposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 2 844

Sexy talk

Same thing different taste

Orders

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