Poopoo peepee, Toilet and Miscellaneous: Shy bowels

Shy bowels

By Dragoness11 - 27/03/2014 14:12 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 128

You deserved it 9 653

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Same thing different taste

By haunted - 23/10/2015 20:41 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 573

You deserved it 2 415

By facepalm - 14/06/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 965

You deserved it 35 789

Mexican Standoff

By JillianJuneBug - 17/08/2019 18:00

Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 647

**** OFF, thanks

By please leave... - 13/02/2013 19:33 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 167

You deserved it 6 373

By Anon - 20/01/2017 22:00

Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 119

You deserved it 1 733

By bathroomgirl - 11/08/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 074

You deserved it 37 195

By s3xygrandpa - 06/11/2013 19:09 - United States - Palm Harbor

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 731

You deserved it 5 123

Help!

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 06:56 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 409

You deserved it 8 096

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

The sound of silence

By hearing too much - 03/11/2019 02:00

Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 228

hellnosucka 27

Thursday 27 March 2014 19:47

I have the exact same fear. if someone entered the bathroom while I'm peeing, I would literally hold my pee in until they get out. no matter how long they take...

AFCCT 7

Thursday 27 March 2014 19:47

Feed your toilet, OP. Feed it.

Comments

phoneaddict13 29

Thursday 27 March 2014 19:52

I have the same fear OP. Your not alone..

Zelphoric 25

Saturday 29 March 2014 2:49

What about his not alone? Did he lose it? You're* not specifying enough :p

OrangeOtang 7

Thursday 27 March 2014 19:53

This is going to sound disgusting, but you can use loo paper as a "silencer". Use it to manipulate the hole as you release the payload to change into a silent stinker

meli1195 31

Thursday 27 March 2014 20:05

Ew so you grab your own poo????

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 27 March 2014 20:09

I think he means covering the hole of the toilet with paper to muffle the noise of the splash of poo hitting the water?

FranklySpeaking 11

Thursday 27 March 2014 21:27

@23, That's also a good remedy for "splash backs".

sirpantselot 22

Friday 28 March 2014 3:18

23, if that's what he meant, then "manipulate the hole" was a really poor choice of phrase.

peacejunior 12

Friday 28 March 2014 11:20

I've just eat my lunch man.

thisismylifesoo 11

Thursday 27 March 2014 19:54

Well thats a shitty situation

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 27 March 2014 19:55

boo-urns.

cyttex 13

Thursday 27 March 2014 21:10

Every damn time there's a fml about bathrooms this comment shows up

conman531 23

Thursday 27 March 2014 19:57

Shit happens. Well, I guess in this case, shit doesn't happen

poppyseed420 9

Thursday 27 March 2014 20:01

I have that poster on the bathroom door

barakados 11

Saturday 29 March 2014 11:08

They have this on a poster? That's a really specific poster there

harliegrl 5

Thursday 27 March 2014 20:00

This is totally me! Know the feeling

cwl727 32

Thursday 27 March 2014 20:01

I am the same way and my friends know this so they like to talk to me and outside the door when I am trying to pee.

Pauline96_fml 20

Thursday 27 March 2014 20:02

If your bathroom has a fan try turning it on.

PrincessCastiel 27

Thursday 27 March 2014 22:26

I do that. I thought I was the only one

IneededAName99 5

Thursday 27 March 2014 20:07

Quit being a pansy, everybody *****.

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 27 March 2014 20:11

Quit being insensitive, not everybody is comfortable around others. Irrational fears wouldn't be irrational if we had ease of access to power over them. Some people are more held back by their psychology than others. That's all.