Money and Health: Slasher

Slasher

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 730

You deserved it 9 384

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Same thing different taste

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 461

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 347

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 799

You deserved it 815

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 08:03 - United States

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 180

You deserved it 7 947

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

By Ouch - 26/10/2019 22:00

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 182

By sorethumb - 15/12/2015 23:39 - United Kingdom - Bookham

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 521

You deserved it 3 398

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 000

You deserved it 7 977

Glassed

By Penny - 17/10/2021 02:00

Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 160

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 896

You deserved it 627

By sharkgirl4 - 25/08/2014 16:17 - United States - Rialto

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 079

You deserved it 4 394

ohheykiwi 2

Monday 1 February 2010 12:14

You're gonna die. It's gonna get infected. And you will die.

arsenalfcboy 6

Monday 1 February 2010 12:36

FYL for living in a country with no National health care

Comments

Person1233 12

Monday 1 February 2010 12:54

YDI for not having insurance.

rwac07 0

Monday 1 February 2010 13:00

this guy is a genius... :/ even if u end up goin to the hospital, they probably have to cut ur finger off because u sealed the wound. suck shit. ydi

Tkim32 0

Monday 1 February 2010 13:06

Good for youwe have a natural McGyver.

CYNNER 0

Monday 1 February 2010 13:11

I don't know if anyone thought of this but he said ceramic. i didn't think that it was that sharp so it would fillet your finger. its also thick.

CYNNER 0

Monday 1 February 2010 13:25

#36 i see that point but would a general ceramic plate be that sharp. i have some and when they break they're just kinda crumbly cuz anything americans manufacture is shit. this guy happens to live here too

sevlen 0

Monday 1 February 2010 13:12

lol hey Obama when dose this poor guy get Heath care?

The_Disturbed 5

Monday 1 February 2010 13:21

Maybe when you get free education? Does and Health. Please, learn to spell. And OP...FYL, but seriously...superglue? Ever heard of bandages? Or plasters (or bandaids...I'm English...)? Also, try some disinfectant. I'm pretty sure something that's in a recycling bin/bag/box is going to be pretty dirty, even if it's not normal waste. If anything, you've probably made the cut about ten times worse by getting it infected, so it's going to cost you a lot more to get treated now.

Natejd04 0

Monday 1 February 2010 13:13

super glue. damn good solution. make sure that over the next few days there is no discoloration. could be early signs of an infection.

AmyBeth 0

Monday 1 February 2010 13:21

actually that is why they invented super glue. they invented it for surgery and wounds when in war because they weren't able to get stitches.

Tripout 0

Monday 1 February 2010 13:29

WOW OP  U MUST REALLY BE PROUD OF UR SELF. DO U FEEL LIKE A DOCTOR??? Nurse: DOCTOR, the patient is loosing too much blood. We can't stop the bleeding. You: OH YES WE CAN, I have a secret tool (druamatic backroubd music along with a close up on OPs face) I HAVE............(last second zoom out) SUUUUUUPPPPPEEEERRR GLLUUUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

himitsusj 6

Monday 1 February 2010 14:01

Maybe you should learn to spell before insulting the intelligence or pride of other people. Just a thought.

_RobotInDisguise 0

Monday 1 February 2010 13:29

Um...ever heard of a PLASTER (/bandaid)?? A cut doesn't always need stitches - I sliced my finger open with a torn drinks can once (don't ask). It cut down to the fat tissue and was bleeding for ages - I just stuck a plaster on it and bandages, changed them every morning, and it healed. I don't even have a scar. I mean FFS - it's your FINGER!!

ImaginaryFoe 0

Monday 1 February 2010 14:27

This! Who goes to the hospital for a cut or scrape anyway? Thank goodness you don't have insurance or you'd be driving up costs for the rest of us.

marshmallowmouse 0

Monday 1 February 2010 14:38

People with cuts and scrapes deep or long enough to require stitching go to the hospital... I know a fellow who sliced his tendon that way, and would have lost control of the finger entirely if not for several hospital visits. Moral of the story - don't put your hands where you can't see them! Seriously!

welderchick87 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:56

I needed stitches for a half inch cut, I guess you could call it, on my middle finger. I had smashed it open where I was working at the time, and the saftey guy there said that I needed to go to at least the health clinic near by...or the hospital. It ended up being the hospital cuz for some reason, there was no dr. at the clinic that day. Before I really got a good look at it, I was kinda guessing I'd need a dr. anyways. It needed 4 stitches and I still have a decent scar and it happened around Thanksgiving '08. So just because it's not a huge like 'OMG I'M BLEEDING EVERYWHERE' type of cut...some cuts still need a few stitches.