Money and Health: Slasher

Slasher

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 730

You deserved it 9 384

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How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 461

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 347

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 799

You deserved it 815

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 08:03 - United States

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 180

You deserved it 7 947

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

By Ouch - 26/10/2019 22:00

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 182

By sorethumb - 15/12/2015 23:39 - United Kingdom - Bookham

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 521

You deserved it 3 398

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 000

You deserved it 7 977

Glassed

By Penny - 17/10/2021 02:00

Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 160

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 896

You deserved it 627

By sharkgirl4 - 25/08/2014 16:17 - United States - Rialto

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 079

You deserved it 4 394

ohheykiwi 2

Monday 1 February 2010 12:14

You're gonna die. It's gonna get infected. And you will die.

arsenalfcboy 6

Monday 1 February 2010 12:36

FYL for living in a country with no National health care

Comments

go_rangers 0

Monday 1 February 2010 14:58

Heh, nope... the doctors told me to go to the hardware store to pick some up because it's a lot cheaper than the medical kind and works just as well.

mzhonesty 0

Monday 1 February 2010 15:03

Was it one of those recycling bins where you can't open the lid and look in?

dudeface 1

Monday 1 February 2010 15:04

That is a completely acceptable way to earn Man Points. Good job! Hope there's no nerve damage.

houston21 0

Monday 1 February 2010 15:07

My first thing would not to put superglue on it right away. You should of cleaned it up a little first. I managed to rip part of my finger open from shutting it in a door. I should of gotten stitches but I just cleaned it up with a little neosporin and a few bandaids and it healed itself back up. I've heard to use the superglue but I didn't want to use that.

mirrah_fml 1

Monday 1 February 2010 15:10

Wow.... I'm happy to live in a contry where there is mandatory health care insurance...

iamelrebel 0

Monday 1 February 2010 15:12

that's what super glue was originally invented for. it was used by soldiers during wartime, when they needed a quick fix if they couldn't get help right away.

Sekococo 0

Monday 1 February 2010 15:30

Captain planet will be so proud, that you recycle. Unlike your roomate's girlfriend she will wake up to captain planet di*k in her mouth and him saying " Recycle that Bit*h"*....I dunno why am so evil today... I like :D