Money and Health: Slasher

Slasher

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 730

You deserved it 9 384

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How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 461

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 347

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 799

You deserved it 815

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 08:03 - United States

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 180

You deserved it 7 947

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

By Ouch - 26/10/2019 22:00

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 182

By sorethumb - 15/12/2015 23:39 - United Kingdom - Bookham

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 521

You deserved it 3 398

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 000

You deserved it 7 977

Glassed

By Penny - 17/10/2021 02:00

Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 160

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 896

You deserved it 627

By sharkgirl4 - 25/08/2014 16:17 - United States - Rialto

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 079

You deserved it 4 394

ohheykiwi 2

Monday 1 February 2010 12:14

You're gonna die. It's gonna get infected. And you will die.

arsenalfcboy 6

Monday 1 February 2010 12:36

FYL for living in a country with no National health care

Comments

AECobb738 0

Monday 1 February 2010 15:43

Ummm #78, if you don't have insurance, an emergency room visit can run up to a few hundred dollars just to be seen. Welcome to the crap hole that is our health care system. That's why he wouldn't just run over to the ER to get stitched up. Also, I'm deathly afraid that that "fucktard" is my brother. It just sounds like something he would do.

mycool101 0

Monday 1 February 2010 15:51

YDI for not having insurance.

Nick726 0

Monday 1 February 2010 15:58

All you people who say that he's gonna get infected you're stupid. Superglue works quite well for closing up cuts and whatnot. It's quite safe, and you don't have to get any special medical glue either. The normal stuff works fine. I've used it many times and I still have all my limbs.

theshadow013 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:17

You all know they INVENTED superglue as a stitches replacement during the vietnam war, didn't you? That's why it works so well on skin. IT WAS DESIGNED TO CLOSE WOUNDS.

picturerazzi 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:18

I hope you've had your tetanus shot within the last 8-10 years buddy.... if not you should get one soon. just put hydrogen peroxide or rubbing alcohol and keep the infected area clean and dry... btw, if this is your "FML" moment in life... you've got it pretty good! lol!

jaywisker 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:41

oh wow thats smart lmao

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 1 February 2010 16:44

Can you even recycle ceramic?

wolfmother_fml 0

Monday 1 February 2010 17:18

I would have used cement but ur choice

Thaddeus_Prime 0

Monday 1 February 2010 17:21

dude superglue is the shit I cut the bottom of my foot to the bone on a broken bottle cleaned it and superglued it. like it never even happened. even hospitals use superglue for cuts, it doesn't say superglue on the tube but that's what it is. you'll be fine in 5 days tops.