Sex, Farts and Intimacy: Sneaky

Sneaky

By crazy_bitch122 - 29/06/2011 05:13 - United States

Today, while we were making love, he farted, then blamed it on his dog, who wasn't even in the room. The smell alone could have killed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 638

You deserved it 6 305

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Same thing different taste

A load of hot air

By SkipBeatOtaku - 16/05/2020 20:00

Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 706

Still funny though

By Jeff - 29/04/2022 02:00

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate with for the first time in a while, as I haven't been home, when the foul stench of our dog's fart made us gag. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 209

By Anonymous - 19/11/2017 06:00

Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea all over my husbands legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 529

You deserved it 2 830

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 17/11/2013 13:34 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 800

You deserved it 4 363

First time?

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 23:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 314

Likely story

By Gabriela - 23/11/2011 01:00

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 825

You deserved it 5 903

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 5 073

Love is in the air

By Rydia - 31/10/2020 05:01

Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 197

By fatti11 - 14/01/2017 18:00

Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 868

You deserved it 1 132

By anonymous - 14/03/2012 05:18 - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 059

You deserved it 14 185

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 29 June 2011 12:00

At least he didn't shit on the sheets.

loveexgirl 15

Wednesday 29 June 2011 12:37

27 ... wtf?

Comments

makemecum 1

Wednesday 29 June 2011 14:48

Shouldn't pull his finger then

JoeyPterodactyl 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 14:59

Breathe through your mouth for 30 seconds then.

properbostonian 5

Wednesday 29 June 2011 14:59

Was he at least big? I'm sure you let it go if he were huge!

stormchaser24 24

Wednesday 29 June 2011 15:00

at least he didn't say love the gas.

aphelps 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 15:08

I darn my boyfriend to do that it wouldn't last too much longer between us that's just sick

aphelps 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 15:10

sorry meant dare

bfflrhea 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 16:02

...ew. lmfaoo

suprmidgt 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 16:15

love the gas!

triggerit 5

Wednesday 29 June 2011 16:18

op your boyfriend just guard his Arial of Fu"ng...

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 29 June 2011 16:18

"The smell alone" could have killed you? What else was there that could have?

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 29 June 2011 16:36

The shock waves from the blast. The debris field. The embarrassment and shame

felah17 6

Thursday 30 June 2011 4:52

I LOL'D!!!! Then I serious'd! : I

Arrangements 4

Wednesday 29 June 2011 16:22

you know you liked it

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I took my girlfriend out to Outback Steakhouse. We went to one outside of town because my wife works at our local one. When we got there, guess who we saw? I forgot she transferred to another location, which just happened to be this one. Goddamit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 1 720

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 1 841

The Top

Today, my online ad was deleted for being in the wrong category. I'm looking for a good home for two old horses, so I'd put the ad in the category “Horses”. Maybe I should try again under “Lawn Mowers”? FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 67

Today, I was complaining to my friend how I was doing all the work in my group, and that they were getting all the credit. Her response? "It's OK, you're doing a shitty job anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 649

You deserved it 281

Today, I got a message from the girl I like. She told me to never speak to her again and not even look at her any more. Apparently the letter I wrote to her was perverted, vile and nasty. I never wrote her a letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 096

You deserved it 2 805

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 310

You deserved it 8 681

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 115

You deserved it 5 480

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 203

You deserved it 3 710