Sex, Farts and Intimacy: Sneaky - FML

Sneaky

By crazy_bitch122 - 29/06/2011 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, while we were making love, he farted, then blamed it on his dog, who wasn't even in the room. The smell alone could have killed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 638

You deserved it 6 305

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Same thing different taste

A load of hot air

By SkipBeatOtaku - 16/05/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 706

Still funny though

By Jeff - 29/04/2022 02:00

Spicy

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate with for the first time in a while, as I haven't been home, when the foul stench of our dog's fart made us gag. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 209

By Anonymous - 19/11/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea all over my husbands legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 529

You deserved it 2 830

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 17/11/2013 13:34 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 800

You deserved it 4 363

First time?

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 23:01 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 314

Likely story

By Gabriela - 23/11/2011 01:00

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 825

You deserved it 5 903

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 5 073

Love is in the air

By Rydia - 31/10/2020 05:01

Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 197

By fatti11 - 14/01/2017 18:00

Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 868

You deserved it 1 132

By anonymous - 14/03/2012 05:18 - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 059

You deserved it 14 185

Next

Top comments

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 29 June 2011 12:00

At least he didn't shit on the sheets.

loveexgirl 15

Wednesday 29 June 2011 12:37

27 ... wtf?

Comments

alexandrab 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 1:18

wow i dont know if he would ever be able to recover and get me in the mood again!

alex6946 10

Thursday 30 June 2011 2:34

I bet it was the dog! I bet that sneaky lil dog entered the room, farted, then he left before y'all could notice!!

XMCOLON93 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 3:12

HAHAHAHAHA "it was the dog"

abnarf 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 3:22

but it didn't

gingerftw 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 4:30

so that's what that was

hateevryone 14

Thursday 30 June 2011 5:36

he farted before he could burst sperm. that fact alone would ruin the mood for me.

hazardoussmiles9 22

Thursday 30 June 2011 6:00

... Attractive.

DietSunDrop 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 6:01

spray some febreze

drwcomics 1

Thursday 30 June 2011 6:40

OP, quit being a shallow bitch and think about how humiliating it'd be if you were the one who did that. How would you want him to respond? By being understanding and sensitive, or by being a shallow asshole and posting about it on a website, claiming that you were responsible for fu*king his life?

detective_oreo 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 7:48

my freind did that today and blamed it on my birds.

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The Top

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 80

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 231

You deserved it 3 289

Today, my ex asked me if he could live with me so he wouldn't be homeless. He also asked if he could introduce me to his new girlfriend so they wouldn't have "trust issues." This coming from the same guy living with grandma and mom, who has no job, no car, and basically dumped me for her. Like, sure buddy I'll get right on making her feel comfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 136

Today, my dad told me, in the form of a soliloquy, to have a better attitude about death and dying. I have terminal cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 103

Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 977

You deserved it 4 283

Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 577

Today, I was an altar server at my Catholic church. I wore a long white robe and at the end of Mass, I grabbed my candle and bowed to the altar. I turned around and started walking down the aisle. The woman behind me came up quickly to tell me I had bled through my robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 119