Sex and Intimacy: So good it's bad

So good it's bad

By kingpin7 - 30/03/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 474

You deserved it 10 308

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Same thing different taste

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 177

You deserved it 8 661

By rebeccacaissie - 21/11/2010 18:16 - United States

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 624

You deserved it 8 912

By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 922

You deserved it 10 730

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 274

You deserved it 7 766

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 120

You deserved it 13 417

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 834

You deserved it 6 346

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 125

You deserved it 6 179

By Squashed - 15/08/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 121

You deserved it 22 859

Nice way to go, really

By motorboatofdoom - 30/03/2020 05:00

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 193

You deserved it 300

By Abyssal - 04/04/2011 18:29 - United States

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 188

You deserved it 11 923

lhoavtee 3

Wednesday 30 March 2011 12:05

if you wee suffocated wouldn't it mean your dead

fluffyrocka 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 12:02

breathe op, breathe

Comments

ChrisLTC 3

Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:02

You lucky bastard! Cost me $250 for a girl to do that to me! FML!

justinthingy 8

Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:02

haha nice man! just the way how it supposed to go like :D

you_freak 7

Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:04

Take it as a compliment!!

blad786 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:06

DID HE DIED?

walrus86 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:07

should have punched her clam

Maflagulator 1

Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:25

You're doing it RIGHT!!

matt1990 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:26

ur life blows. you gave ur girl an ******, but ur life blows. psh.

ProhibitionRose 14

Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:40

how is this an Fml situation? you gave your girl an epic ******. be proud!

DevinVee 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 20:12

he obviously doesn't look on the bright side.

notquite69 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:43

Pfft. I should post a FML 3 times a week.

Floyd4Ever 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:49

haha- WIN

FYLSLOWLY 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:46

Op that means u did a good job!*thumbs up*

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

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You deserved it 2 259

The Top

Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 226

You deserved it 11 210

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 706

You deserved it 3 397

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 432

You deserved it 1 857

Today, I finally had an opportunity to flirt with the guy I have a crush on. We danced together all night and everything was going well… too well apparently, because out of nowhere, he kissed my sister, who knew about my crush on him but still kissed him back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 145

Today, the maintenance man for my building fixed my leaky sink. As he headed out the door, I said, "Thanks, Gus!" He turned around and said matter-of-factly, "My name is Eli." I've been addressing him as "Gus" for the past year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 915

You deserved it 1 308

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend when she said, "Babe, I'm not trying to be rude but your cum tastes horrible." I didn't know how to respond so I said, "Okay." Apparently, me saying that means i won't try to make my cum taste better, which I can "definitely do", and now she's mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 244

So good it's bad

Same thing different taste

Girl boss

Nice way to go, really

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