Awkward, Neighbours and Fight: Sorry, I…

Sorry, I…

By signupsheetfail - 12/08/2009 19:02 - Canada

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 878

You deserved it 41 896

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Same thing different taste

Defense!

By ruined_suit - 17/04/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 112

You deserved it 7 130

By lovehurts - 28/12/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I got a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three-foot range. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 861

You deserved it 57 659

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 14:09

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 109

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 981

Ballin'

By oww - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 055

You deserved it 722

Sorry

By FailedSniper - 22/03/2011 16:31 - United States

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having, I shot at him with the sniper gun I'd bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was OK. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 151

You deserved it 53 992

Risky

By Josh - 13/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 204

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 793

You deserved it 25 010

By sore - 21/10/2009 08:27 - Australia

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 272

You deserved it 6 679

DeathShad0 1

Wednesday 12 August 2009 23:15

FYL since your neighbor can't seem to tell the difference between a real gun and a paintball gun.

matt5055 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 23:32

First of all OP is a dumbass for shooting paintballs in a backyard, also for calling them bullets. And second it is a natural reaction to assume he has a real pistol because it's a paintball pistol, not a full size marker. Most of the time they have clips to feed the balls in and usually are black. From a distance you can easily mistake it for a real gun. Especially when you're a trained killer and instinct kicks in. You're not going to wait for him to point the gun at your face and shoot you.

Comments

yowzerz 5

Thursday 13 August 2009 1:39

It's kinda easy to differentiate between a real gun and a paintball gun. That guy, being a soldier, should have been able to see that it wasn't a real gun. FYL for real.

tingting1 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 1:43

you're a canadian, and you spelled neighbour "neighbor" ?! disgrace

DashaErie 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 2:04

YDI for calling the paintball a "bullet."

XOfiestypixie 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 4:18

agree! disgrace to Canadians who actually know the difference between the Canadian spellings and American spellings of words. =)

Bodyfreak 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 2:19

roflmao fail.

TotallyAwesome 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 2:29

YDI because the man was trained to kill. He probably reacted without knowing it.

Reena03 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 2:51

sooo stupid, you could have leave the paintball gun behind and then go say sorry to your neighbour, stupid, but still ROFL this is jokes

tronner 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 2:55

If this happened in Texas, or Arizona or Utah or somewhere, uh...more "IN" to the right to bear arms we would likely be reading "Today I answered the door to a punk with a gun. Quickly, I found my weapon and shot and killed him in self-defense. It turns out the "gun" was really a replica paintball marker and the punk was my idiot neighbor's idiot son. I just spent 5 hours explaining this to the DA who let me go because I honestly thought I was in imminent danger of death. But now I have to clean the blood off my front porch. FML"

fawfulster 11

Thursday 13 August 2009 3:25

What's with old crazy people now-a-days? First the Bitching Grandma's, then the Homophobic Mom, then the Looney of the Sweet-Sour Chicken at Starbucks, now this! WTFF?

namelessfew 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 4:17

YDI. After my idiot brother got back from Iraq ... first after mom dropped a pan while he was sleeping, he woke up in a panic and went to grab his gun (that wasn't there), and two weeks ago, he was home alone and the door was locked. Grandpa didn't know he was home so he was coming in through the backdoor, my brother grabbed one of dad's guns and loaded it. Anyone in the army comes out more ****** up than they were when they went in.

ben26_fml 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:32

that sucks you were being nice and apologizing you dont deserve that

excessinfo 0

Friday 14 August 2009 5:36

Wow number 58, that is a sweeping comment based on personal experiences. I can name countless people who have joined the army and it helped them improve their lives. It can be extremely traumatic many times, but at the same time bring discipline and has given people some real perspective in cases. Even my grandfather was once a street delinquent before the Army.