Intimacy: Spread the word

Spread the word

By JAY22 - 26/03/2009 11:41 - United States

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 224 165

You deserved it 35 817

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Same thing different taste

By Ben - 25/01/2010 03:31 - United States

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 287

You deserved it 47 719

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 127

You deserved it 23 508

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 652

You deserved it 86 720

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 404

Feed me with your kiss

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 08:00

Today, while having missionary sex, my girl was reaching a climax. She kept screaming a bunch of things like, “Yes!”, “Don’t stop!”, “Keep going.” Well, at least until a giant booger fell straight from my nose into her mouth. Then the only thing she was screaming was that I needed to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 798

By BDSM4Jesus - 20/01/2015 04:42 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 152

You deserved it 4 556

By WWJD - 01/03/2017 12:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 328

You deserved it 1 601

Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 342

You deserved it 7 042

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 22:00

Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 123

By jealouspussy - 20/02/2013 06:55 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 494

You deserved it 5 990

lolol182 4

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:00

ahahahahaha reminds me of the one where the girl said "forgive me lord!" when she came

Socrates_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:02

how did you answer/what happened?

Comments

pinkfrenchrose 5

Thursday 26 March 2009 21:21

#1, I was thinking of that one too!

wordly 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 21:26

If you don't know what head is, you're not old enough to be reading this site.

piderman13 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 21:37

HAHAHAHA that reminds me of the girl who said she wouldnt suck a guy cuz she was a vegetarian! hahaha poor guy but at least its a funny let buzz kill (;

nanner6206 24

Sunday 19 June 2016 8:18

That makes no sense though. It isn't "meat", and if that's referring to the protein, there is only a small amount. Veggies, nuts and beans also contain lots of protein. The statement confuses me, if it's meant to be funny....FAIL (for me anyway).

nitromist77 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 21:40

I would have replied "no but you have the lips of an angel" hahahaha

snoopy24_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 21:43

#38 / 44 are you serious?

nanner6206 24

Sunday 19 June 2016 8:20

both are from the same person. I don't believe it's a genuine question. I think it's an idiot stirring things up...giving the impression they are too young

Vehicle 1

Thursday 26 March 2009 21:45

Wow, I mean. I'm a Christian and everything, but there are so many things wrong with this story.

oceanxcity 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 21:49

LOL poor baby =(

kmander93 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 21:54

THIS MAKES MY LIFE!!!

partake_fml 2

Thursday 26 March 2009 22:01

#61 You forgot that some people here do not speak english currently (for example, I'm French), and thats why sometimes some expressions like "a head" may be hard to understand. So use your brain before making stupid jugements like that.

knitbitch 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 22:03

If you don't know what any word is look it up on urbandictionary.com. I recommend it for any people who don't know english slang too well for any variety of reasons. HAHAHA oh this FML is great!