Intimacy: Spread the word

Spread the word

By JAY22 - 26/03/2009 11:41 - United States

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 224 165

You deserved it 35 817

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Same thing different taste

By Ben - 25/01/2010 03:31 - United States

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 287

You deserved it 47 719

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 127

You deserved it 23 508

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 652

You deserved it 86 720

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 404

Feed me with your kiss

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 08:00

Today, while having missionary sex, my girl was reaching a climax. She kept screaming a bunch of things like, “Yes!”, “Don’t stop!”, “Keep going.” Well, at least until a giant booger fell straight from my nose into her mouth. Then the only thing she was screaming was that I needed to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 798

By BDSM4Jesus - 20/01/2015 04:42 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 152

You deserved it 4 556

By WWJD - 01/03/2017 12:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 328

You deserved it 1 601

Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 342

You deserved it 7 042

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 22:00

Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 123

By jealouspussy - 20/02/2013 06:55 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 494

You deserved it 5 990

lolol182 4

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:00

ahahahahaha reminds me of the one where the girl said "forgive me lord!" when she came

Socrates_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:02

how did you answer/what happened?

Comments

csigabajnok 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 22:52

Should've told her "Sure, He commanded me to cum on your face!" :)

ZiggyMorrison 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 22:54

OH God that sounds painful I hope you didnt get blue balls but by the sound of it they were probably blue berries since you were about to cum

thebigslim 13

Thursday 26 March 2009 22:57

I think it would have been better for her to ask that question after you bust into her mouth and say "OH SWEET JESUS". Then you can say you are only religious when you feel the power inside of you about to come out.

partake_fml 2

Thursday 26 March 2009 22:57

"You pretty much need to know those to be on this website so if you dont, just dont even bother" I don't agree. Just because you might not be able to understand a few words then you "just don't even bother"? You say : "you need to know those" haha, and how? Dude that's the way you learn slang ! By looking at some websites like these ! I knew what a head was, but I have learned a lot more, just by reading these little stories. And I think it's dumb to reject people when they ask what a word means!

asortafairtale 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:05

AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!that just made my night so much better! now i know a good one to use as a **** blocker when the guy's creepy/nasty ^_^ but i prolly wouldn't start then stop like that....she obviously didn't believe in Jesus then if she wanted to be that evil!

zombieholocaust 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:05

#26 i don't know what kinda guys you suck off, but cum doesn't taste that bad to me.

pinion_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:21

this is hilarious lol

wrestler_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:27

Well.... DO you?! *eyebrow *****

Nanospeed 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:32

lol one more things that christian ruin: sex if they hate sex so much i dont know why the keep populating the earth and keeping the average IQ down of 50 points! lmao ~athiestpride~