Sex, Relatable, Cute and Intimacy: Squelching the night away

Squelching the night away

By alison - 04/07/2015 05:02 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 032

You deserved it 4 955

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Same thing different taste

Rush of gas

By Fart queen - 05/12/2022 04:00

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heard to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 723

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 320

You deserved it 38 283

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 18:39 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 782

You deserved it 4 478

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 2 145

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 343

You deserved it 5 179

Valid reason

By stephhh055 - 21/10/2019 16:00 - United States - Portland

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 487

You deserved it 267

Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 036

You deserved it 4 250

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 837

You deserved it 4 637

By atleese - 31/12/2011 15:37 - United States

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 445

You deserved it 31 902

By Haley. - 26/03/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 299

You deserved it 6 537

qwertycode 19

Sunday 5 July 2015 5:59

At least he's comfortable around you :]

mariah_1_11 22

Sunday 5 July 2015 5:59

Are you related to the Canadian queef sisters?

Comments

bigred6693 12

Sunday 5 July 2015 17:42

Tell him that they're cause by his tiny penis allowing the air to escape.

danceinconverse 25

Sunday 5 July 2015 17:43

In my opinion, you should have sex with someone you're so comfortable with, you can laugh with them as you're fooling around and having sex, it shouldn't be deadly serious. Although it was a bit of an over reaction on your boyfriends part.

Setareh23 34

Wednesday 8 July 2015 6:07

Agreed. But to be fair, most people are at least a little more nervous/self-conscious than usual when they're having sex for the first time, even if they are indeed quite comfortable together.

imkool136 22

Sunday 5 July 2015 17:47

My girlfriend stopped me while we were having sex so she could move away and fart and we both just started busting up laughing so hard we had to stop for a few min.

nandybear 19

Sunday 5 July 2015 17:53

That's actually pretty common, don't feel bad about it. If he really can't handle it, Try playing some nice loud music next time.

hanikayy 15

Sunday 5 July 2015 18:26

Tighten your abdomen OP, it helps

Eivana 37

Sunday 5 July 2015 18:37

South Park, get out of my head!

Dictionaryspeaks 18

Sunday 5 July 2015 18:50

I have no comment capable of being held to any morale standard so this will have to do.

calebmeasner123 6

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:26

Ewwwwwww

Laynee90 5

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:50

this happens to every girl. it's OK. I'm glad he could laugh about it. when it happens to me I make my boyfriend stop. I'll get all the air out and then we keep going. I know it's embarrassing, but it's normal and can't be helped. good luck next time.