Transportation, Alcohol, Cars and Cops: Straight to jail

Straight to jail

By breathalizard - 02/05/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 372

You deserved it 300 340

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Same thing different taste

Party hard

By jagerbombs - 30/12/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 027

You deserved it 46 455

By porkabye - 02/08/2014 23:44 - United States - Duluth

Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 496

You deserved it 3 125

The first step is admitting it

By The_failure - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found myself sitting in the bathroom at work searching the internet for the alcohol and caloric content of cool mint Listerine. I now believe that I may have a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 009

You deserved it 835

By schoolgrlstaci - 07/04/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 039

You deserved it 102 918

Hair of the dog

By shartface12 - 06/06/2014 22:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 972

You deserved it 43 645

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 992

You deserved it 24 005

By Jesse - 20/03/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 946

You deserved it 151 293

By Gg - 23/07/2009 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 979

You deserved it 4 134

By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 12:28 - Australia

Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 381

You deserved it 7 091

Protip: Don't

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I tried using hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 142

You deserved it 25 139

I_Deserved_It 8

Saturday 2 May 2009 19:03

... how could you not have known that? Oh, and YDI for drunk driving.

kscott88 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 19:04

You're an idiot for multiple reasons. A) Driving drunk B) Not knowing that most mouthwashes have a high alcohol content C) Keeping mouthwash for emergency reasons

Comments

dtatown 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 20:39

you are one dumb muthafucka

Lauriebug 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 20:39

@137 - wasn't trying to seem less drunk, was trying to cover up the alcohol SMELL. so.. that does work. also, wtf? do you not watch tv? how many Listerine and other mouthwash commercials have there been about the ALCOHOL BURN from MOUTHWASH?

Maybefull 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 20:42

you deserved that hardcore.

sarge220 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 20:45

YDI so bad. Drunk driving? Really? I hope you enjoy jail.

Amkii 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 20:47

Nooooo, really?! Jeez. How could you have not known that? Well, I guess when you're drunk, you forget about a lot of things.

Cerataphora 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 20:49

It's people like you who make me sick with this world. Not only were you driving drunk, but you imply that you regularly do it.

i_am_tiff_21 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 20:50

What is so hard about having a desinated driver, or taking the bus or cab? Hell, even walk home. People who dui are so dumb. YDI

george_lopez 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 20:51

Are you sure you weren't that drunk even before you had the listerine bucause if you are that stupid to even attempt that you must've been pretty bad before the listerine, lol.

EveryoneIsDumb 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 20:52

Everyone who says this is impossible clearly knows nothing. Yes, Listerine will have an immediate effect on your BAC if you blow into a breathalyzer right away. Obviously 2.37 would make you dead, so a police officer would know this, ask you if you just used mouthwash, wait about 5 minutes, then have you blow again and your true BAC would show up.