Transportation, Alcohol, Cars and Cops: Straight to jail

Straight to jail

By breathalizard - 02/05/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 372

You deserved it 300 340

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Same thing different taste

Party hard

By jagerbombs - 30/12/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 027

You deserved it 46 455

By porkabye - 02/08/2014 23:44 - United States - Duluth

Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 496

You deserved it 3 125

The first step is admitting it

By The_failure - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found myself sitting in the bathroom at work searching the internet for the alcohol and caloric content of cool mint Listerine. I now believe that I may have a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 009

You deserved it 835

By schoolgrlstaci - 07/04/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 039

You deserved it 102 918

Hair of the dog

By shartface12 - 06/06/2014 22:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 972

You deserved it 43 645

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 992

You deserved it 24 005

By Jesse - 20/03/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 946

You deserved it 151 293

By Gg - 23/07/2009 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 979

You deserved it 4 134

By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 12:28 - Australia

Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 381

You deserved it 7 091

Protip: Don't

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I tried using hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 142

You deserved it 25 139

I_Deserved_It 8

Saturday 2 May 2009 19:03

... how could you not have known that? Oh, and YDI for drunk driving.

kscott88 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 19:04

You're an idiot for multiple reasons. A) Driving drunk B) Not knowing that most mouthwashes have a high alcohol content C) Keeping mouthwash for emergency reasons

Comments

karatechick2010 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 23:40

You're stupid. and you deserved it. Drunk driving is the worst you could do. You do realize you could have killed someone right?

mk1o3o 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 23:40

apparently, you're dumb

ChrisFrancia 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 23:41

that reading may be stretched a little but i believe it is possible b.c a Breathalyzer test reads the oxidized alcohol produced by you liver. however if u just used mouthwash(containing alcohol, there is alcohol free mouthwash) then swallowed it your throat and mouth would be coated with it and when you blew you would get a higher reading (in some states the test is performed roadside and if refused you will lose your license)

happykid 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 23:46

I don't know why anyone would click anything but YDI. hopefully that taught you, idiot. don't drive while under the influence.

ACDCfan 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 23:46

A. You're stupid for not knowing that. B. You're also stupid for drunk driving. HOW MANY TIMES DO PEOPLE HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT DRUNK DRIVING KILLS YOU?! C. YDI for drunk driving.

VillanovaGoose 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 23:47

you are the dumbest piece of shit I have ever seen post on fml. i second everybody's sentiments hoping that you crash and kill yourself, and only yourself, if you ever decide to be such a ******* moron again. hell, this too dumb even for the Darwin Awards....

taureau139 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 23:48

I call BS unless OP meant .237... breathalizers don't measure up to 2.37... most will only go to .6 since youre well past dead at that point anyway.. also to everyone else saying it couldnt be the listerine, youre wrong... any alcohol in your mouth that isn't coming from your bloodstream will result in a much higher reading, since it is in a much greater concentration than had it been coming from your blood.. breathalyzer tests aren't accurate unless they are given at least 15 minutes after you last ate, drank, or smoked.

sinbadmac 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 23:51

For everyone saying the OP would be dead, the Op said that he/she blew a 2.37 not that his/her actual BAC was 2.37. Also 2.37 is the percentage, read #206.