Love: Surprise, MFer!

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 15/09/2010 23:34 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 472

You deserved it 13 090

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Pleased to meet you

By Homeless without superbowl - 16/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 4 803

By thenewgirl - 06/10/2014 23:05 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 091

You deserved it 3 895

Nice of you

By Anonymous - 30/07/2010 04:26 - United States

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 075

You deserved it 38 949

By Reeen - 03/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 695

You deserved it 1 244

By Anonymous - 16/10/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 871

You deserved it 5 292

Wrong place, wrong time

By lug_nut - 06/01/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 455

You deserved it 3 334

By Anonymous - 07/04/2018 15:00

Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 339

You deserved it 633

By killmenow - 19/02/2009 21:52 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 299

You deserved it 3 494

Timeshare

By Anonymous - 17/11/2022 02:00

Today, my ex, who I still live with, invited he’s best friend (a drama starter) and his new love interest over for dinner while I was at work. Now I’m outside, waiting for them both to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 330

By TCRII - 19/01/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 3 817

schwancy 2

Thursday 16 September 2010 9:26

How sweet of her to fancy up your house for your parent's visit.

manforgot 1

Thursday 16 September 2010 9:20

Ew, the herpes of craft supplies. Good luck cleaning that up.

Comments

hghiPigh 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 13:33

come on tell us already! who who ?!

InDenial 6

Thursday 16 September 2010 13:38

#45, see how OP capitalized the word EVERYWHERE? It means it would take ages to clean up and I assume that OP's family would be there soon because he just got home from work, which is averagely around just before tea.

imright24 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 13:49

This is NOT a FML as getting rid of her sounds like the best thing that could happen. Women that do crap like this are just psycho and you should be happy you got rid of her.

alwaysbored13 14

Thursday 16 September 2010 14:01

I think the OP's ex was angry cause he wasn't Edward Cullen from twilight and decided to fix that xD.

Starfire22 5

Thursday 16 September 2010 14:04

It could've been worse... She could've taken a bat to EVERYTHING in the apartment, see, silver lining :)

katey280 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 14:18

ahhhh Shiit , fck your life :/

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Thursday 16 September 2010 14:19

Best. Revenge. Ever. It's a huge pain in the ass, but if he gripes about it, he'll be mocked mercilessly by friends and family. No one will take him seriously. I like the way this girl operates. :}

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 16 September 2010 14:35

The scary part is how many women on this site are thinking "that's a great idea. I'll remember this for next time". *shudder* OP, don't bother trying to get your key back. It would be useless if she's made copies. Just change your locks. It's not that expensive.