Love: Surprise, MFer!

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 15/09/2010 23:34 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 472

You deserved it 13 090

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Pleased to meet you

By Homeless without superbowl - 16/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 4 803

By thenewgirl - 06/10/2014 23:05 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 091

You deserved it 3 895

Nice of you

By Anonymous - 30/07/2010 04:26 - United States

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 075

You deserved it 38 949

By Reeen - 03/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 695

You deserved it 1 244

By Anonymous - 16/10/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 871

You deserved it 5 292

Wrong place, wrong time

By lug_nut - 06/01/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 455

You deserved it 3 334

By Anonymous - 07/04/2018 15:00

Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 339

You deserved it 633

By killmenow - 19/02/2009 21:52 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 299

You deserved it 3 494

Timeshare

By Anonymous - 17/11/2022 02:00

Today, my ex, who I still live with, invited he’s best friend (a drama starter) and his new love interest over for dinner while I was at work. Now I’m outside, waiting for them both to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 330

By TCRII - 19/01/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 3 817

schwancy 2

Thursday 16 September 2010 9:26

How sweet of her to fancy up your house for your parent's visit.

manforgot 1

Thursday 16 September 2010 9:20

Ew, the herpes of craft supplies. Good luck cleaning that up.

Comments

JessAmmyy_ 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 18:47

mm goof idea :P

HeatherXCore 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 19:22

If he was dating ke-dollar sign-ha there would be cocaine everywhere. Not glitter.

BoyBeyond 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 19:43

Thats a total bitch move. You know what you should do. Get some neon green paint from Lowes or Home Depot and wait till its late like 3 a clock in the morning park a block down and like walk pass her house and just dump the hope entire bucket on her windshield. But make sure you do it quickly and walk off fast.

curliegirlie85 0

Friday 17 September 2010 6:20

That payback is beyond the scope of what she did. a glittery apartment is annoying but funny. paint on someones windshield is an a**hole thing to do AND op would have a criminal record. dumb advice!

xXgUeSsWhAtXx 9

Thursday 16 September 2010 20:45

hahaha sounds like she stole the idea from the fml bout the glitter clothes but made it easy for her and hard for you=P

princess579 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 20:52

glitters a pain in da ass

coolkidzrus 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 21:07

take some pic and sue the shit out of her

ShadyFTW1 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 21:09

And if he was dating Justin Beiber, there would be tampons everywhere!

mintcar 9

Thursday 16 September 2010 21:35

82, WTF? 57 looks like he's 6 years old.

purplemnm 9

Thursday 16 September 2010 22:13

I wish my house was covered in glitter...lucky bastard

mike3775 35

Thursday 16 September 2010 22:35

nothing that a phone call to the police and a small claim's case couldn't handle. I had an ex do that to me once, and after 45 days in jail for breaking and entering, she apologized