Love: Surprise!

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 592

You deserved it 5 373

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Same thing different taste

By Kyokushin - 03/06/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 946

You deserved it 20 204

By OhDamn - 16/09/2009 06:34 - United Kingdom

Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 012

You deserved it 3 006

Who are you?

By NotlovingAgain - 14/03/2022 06:00

Today, knowing my long-distance boyfriend was cheating on me with a local girl, I decided to make a surprise visit to confront him by showing up to his home. Both of them answered the door. My boyfriend claimed to not know me, and threatened to call the cops. I ended up back at the airport in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 629

You deserved it 459

By Ari - 16/06/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 886

You deserved it 3 719

By king400 - 25/11/2012 08:09 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 053

You deserved it 2 976

Heavy sleeper

By good_aim - 27/07/2013 08:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 303

You deserved it 26 915

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 03:17 - Canada

Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 804

You deserved it 2 375

Assumptions

By 181999 - 14/09/2013 20:47 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 454

You deserved it 54 390

Get out

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 00:00

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 857

You deserved it 5 521

DeeJayD 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 1:15

I think you should take him to court for assault. That'd show him.

breaksprinter_ 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 1:20

You should take that guy to court, especially if that is your house, and not your girlfriend's. And I hope you broke up with her from that because if she obviously can't keep it in her pants while you're not around, she is not worth having.

Comments

Wonka_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:51

You were away for 3 months? Come on dude... Less sex and more talk? That's just like marriage. Shoot me now. #51 - You didn't cheat on him but are you sure he didn't cheat on you?

Pheonix21 0

Monday 30 March 2009 3:02

@66: Dude that's not right to assume that any member of the military who goes on deployment cheats. I know several soldiers and other military members who are faithful when they go overseas. Seriously, did you get stabbed in the back by one of the very few members of the armed forces who did cheat? Just because you had a bad experience, doesn't mean it's the same for everyone. You should think about that more before you go shooting your mouth off about something like that. And less sex more talk being a joke? GET A LIFE OUTSIDE OF SEX! Relationships last ALOT longer without sex in the first place, the statistics are there to prove it. Look them up. As far as I'm concerned, you have just made yourself out to be a cheater and a liar, and I feel sorry for any person who gets close to you because you will most likely stab them in the back when they decide not to "put out". Also, how the hell does someone deserve to be assaulted in their own home by someone their significant other is cheating on them with? Think about it, they LIVE there, they don't have to knock. I agree with the people who say to file charges and to kick your woman to the curb.

marlboro_hichew 0

Monday 30 March 2009 3:07

grab your shotgun. number 67 you talk too much.

cthulhu1138 1

Monday 30 March 2009 3:20

Ditch the bitch. Then file a criminal complaint against the guy who punched you and sue him for assault.

Reindeerroadkill 0

Monday 30 March 2009 5:23

I went over to my girlfriends house and were watching a movie and some guy tried sneaking in thru the door, i thought he was robbing us so i jacked him in the face. Turns out it was her bf, he was away for work and he came home early to surprise her. FML

annis_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 13:09

God. You poor guy. Finding out you're being cheated on AND getting punched in the face.

deliciouskaek 1

Monday 30 March 2009 16:39

Ooh.. so you get to kick her out, /and/ press charges. Nice. Sorry, man.

revezone 0

Monday 30 March 2009 17:41

dude #13 i was gona say the exact same thing

musicloverr 0

Monday 30 March 2009 20:47

#63, it clearly says he wanted to surprise his girlfriend..thats why the communications were not so great. doesnt sound fake to me.

the_space_pope 2

Monday 30 March 2009 20:34

A few thoughts, and some of them will most likely be repeats of others as I didn't go through every single post: #1. It's true that while you cannot press charges for trespassing assuming that you and your girlfriend share this apartment, you can still press charges for assault. And you will win. Judges will see the context of the event, and you probably won't even have to miss an entire day of work. #2. 3 month business trip? Jebus. Where did they send you? I mean I get a 2-week one, and my girlfriend flips out and wants to have crazy internet webcam sex all the time. #3. If you are going to be doing these 3 month business trips that often, maybe look to be single for a while. It's not so bad. Either way, in the end, be done with the situation. If it's your apartment, tell her to get out. If the lease is in both your names, explain to the landlord what happened. If you have to pay to get out, do it, or else you will be reminded of it every day. Good luck.