Sex and Intimacy: Technique - FML

Technique

By shiznit - 25/10/2010 19:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 673

You deserved it 4 301

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Same thing different taste

Sexy times

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend turned down sex so he could masturbate to his favourite Japanese cartoon porn. I was obviously horny but his compromise was to offer to watch it and masturbate together. I’m an adult damnit, I want sex, not pissing cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 345

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 422

You deserved it 3 243

By Anonymous - 11/01/2013 05:17 - United States - Pass Christian

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 524

You deserved it 6 692

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Spicy

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 6 490

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 07:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 078

You deserved it 3 857

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 334

Protip

By Anonymous - 13/04/2015 01:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 980

You deserved it 4 442

Slacker

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Babylon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 109

By serenti - 13/10/2011 21:30 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 158

You deserved it 7 034

Not fair

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 247

You deserved it 324

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Monday 25 October 2010 23:19

Probably wouldn't last much more than a minute if he was watching Porky Pig, but at least he'd finish you off with "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!"

MissErikaHart 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:50

"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy!!!!"

Comments

SadinSherman 16

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:25

That's is so creepy.

josh55 1

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:26

break up with the one pump chump every girl should get at least 10 min of pounding unless it's a quicky lol

GoColts8718 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:28

Well Minnie Mouse is pretty hot

josh55 1

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:36

maybe but he still shouldn't be a little one pump chump

dreamering 16

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:46

He could have been horror movie fan. Halloween is coming

duboss_fml 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:46

just hit me up when ur single haha but yeah this is funny

kportal69 5

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:47

time to find a new bf

BeNKiN 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:04

YTD for dating a 5 year old

Michael123087 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:11

they have lotions for this kinda thing. lol

MJFG100 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:13

are u dating a child?

docscientist 9

Tuesday 26 October 2010 4:43

Children can't ejaculate.

salic77 11

Tuesday 26 October 2010 7:11

yes, yes some can. at 6 I got erections and at 8 was mah first ejaculation. (was a disturbed child leave me be.)

BonJovi821 3

Tuesday 26 October 2010 7:18

You realize that males start having erections in the mother's womb, right? There's no set age for them to start...

Bonzer 2

Tuesday 17 July 2012 4:28

56- I can

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 781

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 160

The Top

Today, I slipped and sprained my ankle while shopping for a present for my husband, who later came home and tripped over my elevated leg, hurting my ankle again. Now I have an excruciating sprain, and a spouse who's furious at me because, I "shouldn't have tried to surprise him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 367

You deserved it 2 860

Today, I found out that the compact fluorescent light bulbs that I use to save money AND help the environment were too high of a wattage to put in my lamps. I've been doing this for years and completely missed the warning label on the inside of the lampshade that says that the lamp is only good for up to 40 watts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 704

Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 902

You deserved it 3 869

Today, the new person that I was supposed to train didn't show up for the second time in a row. They only had one session with me, and nobody is able to tell me what I'm doing wrong. This is the third time in two years. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 112

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 532

You deserved it 21 744

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 722

You deserved it 4 349