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By Anonymous - 15/09/2012 18:34 - United States - Metairie

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 601

You deserved it 34 416

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Braxam - 15/06/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 586

You deserved it 3 641

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 080

You deserved it 75 580

By ohmygod582 - 14/04/2014 01:32 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 794

You deserved it 12 485

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856

You deserved it 4 480

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 756

HEY YOU

By stabbed with kindness - 02/03/2013 21:44 - Russian Federation - Elektrostal

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 532

You deserved it 45 201

Perv!

By Thithien1 - 01/04/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 909

You deserved it 12 672

Sorry, man

By Lii - 24/03/2015 01:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 094

You deserved it 15 424

By Nicked - 25/04/2009 11:50 - Israel

Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 011

You deserved it 15 795

By stupid - 27/05/2013 11:16 - Lithuania - Prienai

Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music. The music stopped and I assumed my iPod's battery had run out. Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving my earphones in. I didn't feel a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 011

You deserved it 11 814

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Sunday 16 September 2012 2:57

Why the hell would that be your first reaction? "Somebody tapped my shoulder - I'm gonna punch their nuts!"

Lucious306 7

Sunday 16 September 2012 2:55

You're way too paranoid

Comments

SuHanaOk 4

Sunday 16 September 2012 4:43

Atleast you're prepared..

lidsthesquid 4

Monday 17 September 2012 0:43

For what? Acts of kindness? •_•

cameraobscura83 3

Sunday 16 September 2012 4:46

That escalated quickly...

SHUTTHEFRIGUP 3

Sunday 16 September 2012 5:14

You're a ****

diaz11bravo 0

Sunday 16 September 2012 5:18

More like FHL

NigerianMedicine 11

Sunday 16 September 2012 5:43

Ouch for him. If you are afraid of rape and/or a mugging, a concealed carry license can work wonders. Especially in the not-so-nice neighborhoods of New Orleans.

tf5f89 7

Sunday 16 September 2012 6:43

Maybe so, but if this person's first reaction to being tapped on the shoulder was to punch the tapper in the balls, I'm not certain whether she should be packing.

valvmonster 9

Sunday 16 September 2012 8:23

Great idea! "Excuse me ma'am, you drop-" GAT GAT!

laden_swallow09 34

Sunday 16 September 2012 17:13

48- As a conceal carry licensee, I can honestly say that anyone like OP with a knee-jerk reaction for a cockpunch is not fit for conceal carry, be it a firearm, Taser, or pepper spray.

outoftown 26

Monday 17 September 2012 4:12

#48, No. Just no. If someone startles that easily, the first thing to do is NOT wear the ******* earphones on the street!

NigerianMedicine 11

Monday 17 September 2012 5:30

This is suggesting she's been through the mandatory training course in order to receive her permit. And maybe no more caffeine for a while.

fordneagles 34

Sunday 16 September 2012 6:11

If you are that paranoid, why the **** are you walking around with earphones in? Turn it down or better yet, take them out. Save some nice guy like that the risk of getting his nuts punched.

LGuard 13

Sunday 16 September 2012 6:51

You make me sick, hitting a man in the crotch unless it is absolutely necessary is assault in its self no matter what your paranoia or past experiences are like. You can be punished very harshly for such a blatant disregard for a mans health an wellbeing if they were to take you to court for it. Get some mace or if that isn't allowed maybe learn defensive fighting, don't be a wretch.