Weird, Babysitter and Kids: The Omen

The Omen

By Anonymous - 30/05/2012 01:55 - United States - Sioux City

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 943

You deserved it 2 013

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Same thing different taste

By Wtf - 10/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Peoria

Today, I was asked to babysit for a family that attends the daycare I work at. All of my coworkers warned me that they were rough kids but I shrugged it off. As soon as the parents left, the 7-year-old girl said, "Oh good now I can focus on death and my plans". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 962

You deserved it 831

By MumMatters - 09/09/2016 10:26 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 148

You deserved it 4 228

By raquel - 17/07/2015 16:40 - United States

Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 156

You deserved it 10 176

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 034

You deserved it 5 432

By Rory - 14/04/2012 22:19 - Canada - Toronto

Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 209

You deserved it 2 863

Damien

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 10:00

Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 131

Brat era

By bastards - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 598

You deserved it 4 280

Bedtime story

By Hellau - 29/12/2008 10:56 - France

Today, I was babysitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two-hour struggle, I finally managed to get them into bed. I then asked them what they wanted before going to sleep. The eldest replied: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 431

You deserved it 3 119

Bride of Chucky

By spooked - 22/11/2013 06:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 881

You deserved it 3 811

By Anonymous - 15/09/2014 15:51 - United States - West Newton

Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 159

You deserved it 2 941

ICastillo 24

Wednesday 30 May 2012 10:21

Throw some holy water on her little demonic ass.

Rommel1942 9

Wednesday 30 May 2012 10:19

Find the holy water!... I don't even know how holy water is made holy but sure

Comments

unknown_user5566 26

Wednesday 30 May 2012 10:57

Yikes. Looks like it's time to dial 1-800-555-HOLY and hire an exorcist.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Wednesday 30 May 2012 11:08

Screw that. Dial 1-800-FUCKTHIS and get your ass outta there.

DespairFaction 11

Wednesday 30 May 2012 13:55

Yeah this is just a weird one. I would just buy a gun with silver bullets and wear garlic....oh wait.

unknown_user5566 26

Wednesday 30 May 2012 23:34

37- But, if you leave, you can't film the exorcism and try to pass it off as a half-decent horror film. :(

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Thursday 31 May 2012 2:50

99- I dont want green vomit all over my camera. Plus, I'd be compelled to play "I whip my hair" during Emily's spazz attack.

KM96 24

Wednesday 30 May 2012 10:59

No wonder they ran out so fast ! Sorry for you OP

Riley97 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 11:06

Bullet 2: if she tries to stab you, she always swings right to left, so just grab her arm and you should be fine.

Shadow_Phantom 26

Wednesday 30 May 2012 11:23

*sigh* Delusional people these days and them claiming to be possessed... FYL, OP.

vicky_reoow 1

Wednesday 30 May 2012 11:24

Paranormal Activity 4

rattusrattus 18

Wednesday 30 May 2012 11:37

This is why you don't let kids read/watch The Exorcist. Lil' Regan here started getting ideas...

DespairFaction 11

Wednesday 30 May 2012 11:44

Lock her ass in a room and try to find Anthony Hopkins phone number for advice.

hecallsmedarlin 7

Wednesday 30 May 2012 12:06

Good thing you're not staying over night.... I'd be freaked the **** out. That paranormal activity shit is scary as shit

t765234 10

Wednesday 30 May 2012 12:33

I laughed my ass of through both paranormal activity 1 and 2, it's definitely not a scary movie.

tony1891 22

Wednesday 30 May 2012 12:10

jobs these days are getting harder and harder and with less pay. use too all you needed was a pair of work gloves. now you need a Catholic priest it seems. lol.