Money, Capitalism and Miscellaneous: Thick as thieves

Thick as thieves

By blovesg - 07/04/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 403

You deserved it 539 697

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 246

You deserved it 7 143

By disciplinaryaction - 21/11/2011 07:02 - United States

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 761

You deserved it 3 356

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 3 011

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1 972

Are you new?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 02:28 - United States - Lakewood

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 757

You deserved it 2 531

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 866

You deserved it 3 601

Snitched

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 21:00

Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 108

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 248

Jedi mind trick

By Anonymous - 12/04/2018 19:00

Today, while covering lunch for the self-checkout host, I noticed a customer walking away. I smiled and said, "Have a nice night!" A few minutes later, I saw that she'd left without paying on her machine. I'd smiled and waved at a lady as she stole from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 823

You deserved it 819

It's not what you think

By Shopper - 23/05/2012 22:50 - United States

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 341

You deserved it 7 710

Endymion_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 9:47

You deserved that one hundred percent, you thieving bastard.

PhoenixLE 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 9:47

You're a moron. YDI.

Comments

Zizz 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:27

go get a job egoistic #%$@&

mummies 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:32

"yeah, i stole this.. you steal those pants you're wearing?" wtf, who even says that? pants? ahaha. idiot.

cj_gurl 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:34

I hope you get arrested. What is WRONG with you? Why do you think you have the right to steal? What is WRONG with your brain that makes you think this? You need to be in a lab, being studied. It's the only way you will provide a valuable contribution to society.

yeahreally 6

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:35

*slaps hand on forehead* what were you thinking?!

skeptictank 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:36

That's what you get for being a self-centered asshole. Grow up and get a job. Learn to pay for your shit like the rest of us.

keviness 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:37

People like you are worthless pieces of shit. I hope you rot in jail for the rest of your life, but sadly with the current system you will probably get a ******* slap on the wrist.

istoleyourpants 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:52

all i had to read was 'i was at the mall shoplifting' to click on 'you deserved that one'

o_x_fml 7

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:52

Wow, you're just... the biggest ******* idiot I've ever heard. Have fun in jail.

skierguy 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:02

Wow, I hope they put you away. There is no place in society for people like you.

RDMC20 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:03

"Today, I realized not only am I a pathetic shoplifter who can't get a job to buy some s$%t, but I also readily admit that i am to anyone who asks, especially store managers. FML"