Money, Capitalism and Miscellaneous: Thick as thieves

Thick as thieves

By blovesg - 07/04/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 403

You deserved it 539 697

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Same thing different taste

By Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 246

You deserved it 7 143

By disciplinaryaction - 21/11/2011 07:02 - United States

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 761

You deserved it 3 356

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 3 011

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1 972

Are you new?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 02:28 - United States - Lakewood

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 757

You deserved it 2 531

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 866

You deserved it 3 601

Snitched

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 21:00

Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 108

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 248

Jedi mind trick

By Anonymous - 12/04/2018 19:00

Today, while covering lunch for the self-checkout host, I noticed a customer walking away. I smiled and said, "Have a nice night!" A few minutes later, I saw that she'd left without paying on her machine. I'd smiled and waved at a lady as she stole from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 823

You deserved it 819

It's not what you think

By Shopper - 23/05/2012 22:50 - United States

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 341

You deserved it 7 710

Endymion_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 9:47

You deserved that one hundred percent, you thieving bastard.

PhoenixLE 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 9:47

You're a moron. YDI.

Comments

tincan 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 10:49

#26: I'm 50/50 about what you said, but if it's true, then yeah, I'm really sorry to hear that >_

tincan 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 10:52

Oops, comment got cut off. #26: I'm 50/50 about what you said, but if it's true, then yeah, I'm really sorry to hear that x_x. I have posted 5 real FML's before about myself/family (one of them about my autistic brother), and they were all rejected as well. It seems the site and its users favour idiocy over real tragedies. That fact itself is pretty sad, but that's the North American culture, I suppose. People like to read about sex and stupid people, more than anything else.

ArielTheMermaid 17

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:54

This website is french

Nickthenick 1

Sunday 14 August 2011 3:14

The reason for this site is basically fOr people to tell about dumb embarrassing things other people will find funny to make their lives feel better. Nobody wants to hear about something sad because it makes them sad for no reason. I wouldn't want to see an FML about someone dying a tragic death

zap_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 10:57

Why would you admit to shoplifting to a stranger?

Synchestra_fml 2

Tuesday 7 April 2009 10:58

"Today, I was at the mall shoplifting-" Stopped right there. You deserved it, you stupid twunt.

BradTheBrony 19

Wednesday 29 August 2012 21:25

Twat-****?

blololol1337 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 10:59

#26 - If what you said is true, I give you my sincerest condolences on your loss. However, the purpose of this site is for amusement and entertainment. Losing your fiancee, no matter how much it ***** up your life, is neither amusing nor entertaining. It is tragic, and anyone who gets any amusement out of it whatsoever deserves to burn in hell.

MaximB 12

Tuesday 7 April 2009 11:04

I HATE thieves and I think people like you should be in prison , you little **** ! You deserve it and worse. As for #26 : I also posted about my house getting flooded, but for some reason it also didn't get posted. The reason for that I think is that the mods of this website only like funny things specially with a punch line in the end, which I and you didn't have. Nothing funny about your fiance's death , sorry to hear that and I agree with you FYL.

Hong_Kong 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 11:05

I used to shoplift so much, so I can't blame you for that. However, YDI for accidentally telling the MANAGER that you stole them. Damn man, you are one dumb ****! Gave me a good laugh though, I hope you don't do too much time, I heard juvies are even worse in the states.

poopehdoo 9

Monday 29 August 2016 18:07

Why did you shoplift? Out of necessity?

nebjamin69 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 11:08

I agree with #36. I read the first 7 words and stopped 'cause I knew it was just going to end with you being a douche bag. YDI

liquidpaper 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 11:14

#26 (and also 34), while I'm sorry for your loss, this site is primarily an entertainment website. It's far easier to laugh at the idiocy of other people than actual tragedies. If you're looking for real sympathy you would probably have better luck elsewhere.