Health, Food and Diets: This is a low

This is a low

By Anonymous - 19/05/2017 17:08

Today, I hit a new low in my diet. There was a danish sitting on the table in the break room at work, and I wanted it. At the end of day, one of the guys threw it into the dumpster. Guess who just ate a dumpster danish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 483

You deserved it 5 584

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Wealth gap

By Anonymous - 06/01/2023 08:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 1 306

By Username - 16/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 657

You deserved it 33 241

By Hairball - 01/09/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 451

You deserved it 404 860

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:48 - United States

Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 119 187

MY CHEESE!

By Anonymous - 19/11/2024 16:00 - United States - Tuckerton

Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 78

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 07:52 - United States - Bend

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 526

You deserved it 6 848

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 561

You deserved it 17 497

By IJustWantedCheez - 27/09/2016 17:37 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 021

You deserved it 3 043

By Glutton - 28/01/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 261

You deserved it 49 616

Dumpstered

By KO: - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 946

You deserved it 5 243

GhostFox 33

Wednesday 10 May 2017 5:22

That... is not healthy. Time to talk to your doctor, because that sounds less like "wanted" and more like a compulsion.

lovely234_fml 16

Thursday 18 May 2017 6:06

Just... Buy a Danish like a grown up? What the heck is this? How does your diet have anything to do with this decision? Who are you to dumpster dive instead of buying a Danish? I'm so lost...

Comments

ProperPengTing 15

Thursday 18 May 2017 11:20

Moerighan 23

Thursday 18 May 2017 11:48

How are you even on a diet when you obviously have no self control. I'd rather not diet at all than doing something disgusting like that.

adventureinthesea 14

Thursday 18 May 2017 15:00

... why didn't you just eat it when it was on the table?

Winchesterbride 9

Thursday 18 May 2017 15:16

why don't you do a cheat day once a week? it will help at the beginning of a diet

KeatonHanson 28

Thursday 18 May 2017 18:35

Dude why!?

DanielleinDC 33

Thursday 18 May 2017 21:17

Maybe instead of depriving yourself, which leads to ridiculous binges later, you should consider the 80/20 rule where 80 percent of what you eat is healthy--fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans, nuts--and 20 percent is little treats. You may have to cut calories elsewhere or increase your exercise that week, but if you want a danish, have a freaking danish. Just don't go overboard and have five. And don't dumpster dive for a danish.

InsanityShard 23

Friday 19 May 2017 1:01

I wonder how many people realise suddenly going off something like sugar wreaks absolute havoc on your body... Which can lead to some pretty bizzare things too. My care worker tried cutting out sugar. She ended up buying rootbeer and nearly fainted before she did so after around 2 weeks without it. Go slowly or get a professional. Even a lot of people rescued in ww2 who were fed nothing but crap for months or years died after being given chocolate because of how much of a shock it was...