Family, Awkward, Mother in law and Love: Thoughts and prayers

Thoughts and prayers

By bad blood, no shit - 03/12/2011 01:35 - United States

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 320

You deserved it 3 813

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/12/2015 00:00 - United States - Granger

Today, I got together a surprise party for my mom's birthday. I invited all her friends and her douchebag boyfriend who I don't get along with. When my mom got home, he took credit and got her friends to back him up with bribing. My mom said I'm selfish and horrible for not trying for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 266

You deserved it 1 545

By Anonymous - 22/03/2015 09:52 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 2 908

Birthday gift

By Anonymous - 02/02/2020 03:00 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to bring my obnoxious ex to my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 152

You deserved it 166

By ouharguohargssdf - 28/09/2013 21:01 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 466

You deserved it 2 900

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 036

You deserved it 601

Grow up, the pair of you!

By Anonymous - 21/08/2023 04:00

Today, my brother and I ruined our mother's birthday by fighting. She's 76, we're 55 and 54 and yet still unable to comport ourselves like adults. She yelled at us and then "showed me" by eating the dish he made but not mine. I reverted to teenage coping tactics, dissociating like a boss, and hiding in my room. Worst family visit ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 1 025

The cat's out of the bag

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 12:00 - Australia - Taren Point

Today, my partner's mother and I had been planning a little surprise get-together for his birthday. A surprise weeks in the making was ruined by my dad asking, "Aren't you supposed to be going to (his parent's town name) this afternoon?" in front of him. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 135

By some things never change - 28/11/2012 23:04 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 544

You deserved it 1 981

By firethorn - 20/06/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 096

You deserved it 3 583

Unapproving

By Anonymous - 27/06/2015 18:56 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 016

You deserved it 2 268

rayrayray23 1

Saturday 3 December 2011 5:18

Uh...

alexiiiis09 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 5:21

Get him a douche for his birthday, it'll suit him well.

Comments

ahhmusic 8

Saturday 3 December 2011 5:36

Her boyfriend bought his mother-in-law a gift for her birthday and at the party he opened it for her and explained why he bought what he did. Comprendo?

julia_lynn 21

Saturday 3 December 2011 5:41

My mom is hardly an angel, but I would dump any guy who couldn't at least be civil to her at a party. It shows a total lack of respect for you. Not saying he has to like her, but she's your mom, and she's not going anywhere. Your boyfriend sounds like a total douche.

swimmy924 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 5:52

I'm just confused as to why the husband was opening up his mother-in-law's gift? The rest of it I got, but that was confusing...

toalysium 15

Sunday 4 December 2011 17:39

The husband's mother-in-law is the wife's overbearing mother, dumbass.

amkaye 1

Monday 5 December 2011 3:39

He understood that part. He wants to know why the husband opened her gift.

bananagrams 9

Saturday 3 December 2011 6:43

Wish I had a prayer book for my fat rolls...

docscientist 9

Saturday 3 December 2011 6:53

Then you'd be a holy roller.

missssssC 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 7:14

Ok so her HUSBAND (not her boyfriend) bought her mom a present but he opened it for her before she could do it herself (since he didn't like her). So the birthday was for his mother-in-law and it is considered his gift because he brought it. Get it?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 3 December 2011 7:26

SIRIN, shut down the comments immediately. The stupidity is lowering my I.Q. close to retardation levels...

selene125 3

Saturday 3 December 2011 9:03

Um ok so what ur saying is ur husband opened ur moms present for her explaining what each item he got for her was ment for?

The__Redneck 7

Saturday 3 December 2011 9:56

--THE_A_TEEN: Then flying spaghetti monster bless your souls, but seems like on this site / app people with a brain are one tiny minority, no? Especially the kids.-- If you're making "flying spaghetti monster" references... you are not a part of that tiny minority. The reason it's confusing is because OP said he opened his gift, when it was clearly her gift. Easy enough to clear up, I thought, but how much time do you want to waste trying to feel superior about it?

Shrike 23

Saturday 3 December 2011 10:07

Use the reply button, you derp-tard. From your profile: "Strong Christian, proud Southron, firm conservative, and cantankerous old bastard." Yeah, says all that needs to be said doesn't it? Is the poor little Christian crying over the poor little non religious person using an FSM joke? Aww. Grow up.