Transportation, Airplanes, Terrible joke and Love: Timing is crucial in comedy

Timing is crucial in comedy

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 06:44 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 073

You deserved it 4 227

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Same thing different taste

By huj - 25/09/2010 21:49 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 086

You deserved it 4 313

Great start

By siggit - 10/09/2009 15:58 - United States

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 880

You deserved it 3 167

By preggersss - 19/07/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 636

You deserved it 17 216

Flight from hell

By MDoremis - 28/08/2016 19:24 - United States - Honolulu

Today, while flying home, two little girls started chanting, "We're all going to die." I'm an extremely anxious flyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 711

You deserved it 1 090

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 06:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 945

You deserved it 5 620

Unflattered

By lindsay - 28/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 154

By Anonymous - 22/06/2012 14:11 - United States

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 750

You deserved it 3 729

By rollerSWEETness - 03/06/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 828

You deserved it 15 849

By Anonymous - 08/03/2011 18:25 - United States

Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 203

You deserved it 36 660

True, but come on…

By scared to leave the house - 20/08/2012 09:14 - Canada - Williams Lake

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 211

You deserved it 2 425

ChelseaXD 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:01

What a dick.

sammieheart 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:21

tell him that's not what his boss said.

Comments

txgirl2013 14

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:10

well tell him you married me...

moneyisawesome 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:14

what an ass

hater118 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:18

y wud u marry a dick like tht?! divorce his ass!

sammieheart 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:21

tell him that's not what his boss said.

okieraider71 4

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:39

Great comeback!!

CreateZ 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 17:15

OH.MY.GOD! You're too good!

RainbowBitch15 11

Monday 18 October 2010 23:48

#23: FTW

RebeccaP2010 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 15:17

OOHHH! you just owned that one!!!

KyRidHEART 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 16:44

Win(:

xxdjsikoxx 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:21

Lmao!

breenntt 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:25

Looks like I'm next >,>

ke59100 1

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:27

Because only pretty people should be scared of dying?? Sorry but this sounds like a fake

LAXgurlie28 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:28

Well he got with you so you aren't so ugly

Charlotteeexx 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:34

don't get it?

SpicyDuck 22

Saturday 16 October 2010 20:00

Cause you're a tween

Charlotteeexx 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 13:37

pardon?

pinkdottedbow 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 17:53

You're a little teeny bopper.

Griggy 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:34

divorce

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration ADHD Dogs Animals Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, I came home from my aunt's funeral to find my basement flooded due to a sewer backup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 97

Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 132

Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 020

You deserved it 4 987

Beauty is pain!

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 77

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he's a suicide risk due to his depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 514

You deserved it 3 637

Today, after three months of wait, I expected to have a diagnosis and treatment plan from my doctor. Instead, I got an appointment with a surgeon "just to be sure", and an appointment with a GP to get referrals to two other doctors for more appointments. Meanwhile, my health gets worse and worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 105

Timing is crucial in comedy

Same thing different taste

Great start

Flight from hell

Unflattered

True, but come on…

Top comments

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