By queerdragon - 26/02/2016 04:32 - United States - Redlands
queerdragon tells us more.
I did take my dog back. I have had Riot for three years, so he is a big part of my family. I have also started boarding him during the day or leaving him with a family member/friend. I am moving in a few weeks so hopefully, this won't be an issue that pops up again. Chip your dogs. It is a lifesaver. While I understand where the police officer was coming from (he has an autistic child) you don't sell a family member. Dogs have always been family to me. The kind of awkward part was the mother started crying, asking to buy Riot from me. She said he was so well behaved and they needed something to help their kid. She then kind of demanded I let her son come over to my house to play with Riot when he wanted to. I guess so she could tell her son that Riot was still his, but that he was just living with someone else. I told her no and said I didn't want to have contact with her again. She got mad. I don't think I left looking like a saint, but I am glad to have my dog back.
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Doesn't matter if he's autistic. Has Down syndrome. Dying. It was YOUR dog. YOUR family. You are NOT terrible. I'd take my dog back without a second thought. Maybe the kid can still visit though? Compromise?
As I have said in other comments, I don't want a kid visiting me. I would like to return to my life the way it was before. I am not interested in being dog jesus and providing them with a dog to play with. Especially because I met the family and they are not people I would spend time with even if I wanted to be nice like that.
it's not like it is that family's fault. they didn't stole your dog, remember your dog it's now part of their family, as well as yours. though decisions, but you gotta do what you gotta do bro
Hell no. Pets aren't "finders keepers" when they've been stolen. They've done nothing wrong, but neither has OP, and it's OP's dog.
I don't feel the dog is part of their family at all. It sucks, but Riot has been with me for three years. I have told them not to contact me again. I got the dog back.
I'm so glad you got him back, they had no right to expect you to entertain their child whenever he wanted to see the dog... It would be one thing if you'd wanted to offer but she just sounded selfish. More concerned about how giving back a stolen dog to his proper owner would affect her...
who cares your dog
Go get your dog back! I would get my dog back
Feel like this needs a follow up - what happened with the dog?! Did you get him back?
Screw that! Get your dog back! I've had my two black labs, who are sisters, for around 12-13 years now. go They're very loud and sometimes go to the bathroom in the house, but I still won't give them up. If I lost them and had the chance to get them back- I'd take it no matter what- I don't care who bought them.
I'd get my f-ing dog back no matter who or where it was.
I did take my dog back. I have had Riot for three years, so he is a big part of my family. I have also started boarding him during the day or leaving him with a family member/friend. I am moving in a few weeks so hopefully, this won't be an issue that pops up again. Chip your dogs. It is a lifesaver. While I understand where the police officer was coming from (he has an autistic child) you don't sell a family member. Dogs have always been family to me. The kind of awkward part was the mother started crying, asking to buy Riot from me. She said he was so well behaved and they needed something to help their kid. She then kind of demanded I let her son come over to my house to play with Riot when he wanted to. I guess so she could tell her son that Riot was still his, but that he was just living with someone else. I told her no and said I didn't want to have contact with her again. She got mad. I don't think I left looking like a saint, but I am glad to have my dog back.
You don't owe them your family member - there are many, many, many well-behaved dogs in the world in search of a good home. I don't know if she was really just sad because her kid bonded to him or if she was trying to manipulate you with a deliberate guilt trip, but either way, I'd have made the exact same call if I were you. Pets aren't toys you can just gift away to make a nice gesture. Thanks for the reminder to get my puppy chipped soon, actually.
Yeah, my friend gave me crap about it, saying the nice thing to do would be letting the kid come visit. I don't want to be responsible for living my life around a kid. If I did, I would have a child instead of a dog.
Good for you hon. You paid for Riot, they didn't. And you shouldn't have to live your life around this kid. How did they even get him anyway? Did they buy him from the thief, because if so, they can always legally buy another dog.
I understand what you mean. Sure, it might be hard for the family, but the dog is part of your family. I couldn't imagine walking away and leaving my dog behind.
Sure you weren't a saint, but you shouldn't be expected to be. Your dog, he is probably as attached to you as you are to him. As the others said, there's many friendly dogs and if he's severely autistic maybe they should look into SERVICE dogs.
You did the right thing, family sticks together!
Good on you for getting the dog back. As for you not wanting the kid to visit: I think that is honestly the best decision for everyone involved - you have no responsibility to that family and shouldn't be forced to have strangers invading your home, and the kid needs a clean break. Getting to see the dog infrequently is not going to make it easier for him to let go, and depending on where he falls on the autism spectrum he might not be able to understand the explanations why he can't see the dog whenever he wants. However heartbreaking the initial separation is, at some point he's going to get over not having the dog in his life anymore.
I lost it at the part where she demanded you let her child come to your house whenever he wants, like you have nothing better to do than arrange your schedule around a stranger's kid. I can't stand entitled parents who expect the world to bend over backwards to accommodate the wants (not needs) of their children, disabled or not. Most parents with disabled children are just normal, rational people who do their best in an often difficult situation. This woman, on the other hand, is a toxic person and I'd bet my dog she'd be just as horrible and entitled if her son wasn't autistic. That's just her most convenient excuse. If the insensitive cop had ever had a dog he cared about, he wouldn't have fallen for this woman's emotional manipulation. Good call on the no contact.
That's so odd, I'd be appalled if I found out I was intruding on someone's loving bond with their pet, I'd want to set the right example for my child! I assume the mother is finding things difficult and it's clouding her judgement, I hope she gets support from a better source than a stolen dog soon.
I have an autistic boy and would have given your dog back straight away as life doesn't work to our advantage all the time and kids have to learn how to cope with everyday life no matter what their ability. Glad you got your dog back :)
In the long run, the mother was more concerned with her own family's needs than the fact that this was someone else's pet they had gotten. If she wants a dog for her son so badly, she can just go to the local shelter and find one that's already trained.
It's your dog, one of your family, you don't give them up, or they think you left them
Good for you. I would have done the same thing. How very presumptuous of that woman. The kid will get another dog and learn a necessary life lesson. Autistic or not, kids still need to learn how to be good people. If they have a harder time understanding some things, then the parents need to take the time to make sure they learn, not just give up and treat them like, "Oh well, they won't understand, so I won't try." Because some day, these kids will be adults who understand how to be human beings or don't. They might be differently abled, but still need to learn the same lessons as everyone else. And that is your dog. And if that mother does her job (though from her interaction with you, it's doubtful that she does) then the kid will learn a life lesson and eventually move on.
I wouldn't have had the guts to do that.
Did that police actually tell you he thought you were a bad person for wanting your dog back? What a dick.
I approve of the way you handled the situation and I admire that you held your ground. I'm on your side completely. Good job and good luck.
There are literately millions of dogs for them to choose from. Guilt tripping isnt cool of them i dont care who it is for.
I'm autistic and I'm on your side. Sucks for the kid but like any other kid get he will get over it. If he has the typically low EQ (emotional quotient) he might even get over it faster than "normal" kids
I'm so glad you got your dog back. He's probably all smiles now that he's back with you. I'm proud of you for standing your ground and getting him back. That mother is a total bitch. I'm sorry but she is, I understand asking to purchase the dog but if you're told no, you have to accept it. No demanding that the child be allowed to visit. It's not fair to anyone. If I were in that position I'd mention that the dog was stolen, and if they bought him from whom ever stole him they are in possession of stolen property and can be charged, I think that would make them change their tunes pretty quickly. Anyway I'm so happy that he's back with you. I hope you both have a long and happy life together :)
I understand where you're coming from. I'm glad you weren't guilted into it. If you let the kid come visit, you would end up babysitting him. Daily. For free. And I bet your dog was well behaved because you trained him that way, so that's a plus. That must have been so awkward. Out of curiosity, how long was Riot gone for?
Don't blame you at all
I'm sure if that was the autistic kids dog that was stolen and sold to you, the mom would have done the same exact thing. You always have to flip the situation. You did the right thing. I would have wanted to say no, but to be 100% completely honest I probably would have said yes and then just not really ever answer the calls. Hate on me, but I have no balls. At least I admit it. Haha.
I work at a school and often times parents want their autistic child to be treated any other child. But will use their disability as a cushion. But, kids need to be taught things are wrong sometime. My example is one of our autistic kids beat up another child because he wanted his sandwich. Does that mean because he's autistic he doesn't get punished? No, he just gets punished a different way (it was taking away his ice cream treat his grandma gave him for being good), and that helped him learn. But I think this mom you ran into should really think everything over.
Being autistic myself, I'll tell you this is one of those situations where you'll lose regardless of the decision. I'm surprised the mother doesn't get another dog, in all honesty. I feel for the kid, but I also understand that a dog is one of those things that most care a lot about. (I own two myself!) I think personally explaining it to the kid might help. But if you do that, make sure to watch your wording, and be prepared for any outcome. Just my two cents.
Also, OP...you mentioned you paid a few grand for your dog. Was your dog purebred? Very obviously? Of a breed that's very sought-after? In light of that, I seriously doubt that the reason the mother had to have THIS particular dog really was for her kid's sake. Sorry you had to deal with some shitty people who tried to extort you when they found out their "too good to be true" deal on a dog really was too good to be true.
What assholes. It's YOUR dog, I don't know why they can't respect that.
its selfish of the parents to allow the kid to get attached to a dog not their own
That's why you be careful to check what source you are buying your new dog from. They probably bought your dog from a broker. They are usually used to sell dogs that come from puppy mills. I understand that not everybody wants a purebred from a reputable breeder but there are better places to find rescues. You can buy a dog straight from a shelter if you want. While the family is not at fault for not knowing that they bought a stolen dog, there is probably more that they could have done to make sure that something like this does not happen.
Good for you. If you had the dog microchipped then I doubt she bought it as having an autistic child she'd have got it checked out and saw it was missing. Don't feel bad he's your dog!
You did the right thing. Even if they're not the ones who stole Riot, you're under no obligation to them. They can get a dog the legal way if it's so important to their child's mental health.
Yes, I think you did the right thing. Sorry about the kid, but if the mother bought stolen property it was never hers, or his, to begin with, as much as the kid wants it. They can get another dog.
Congratulations for getting your pet back. How long was he/she gone for? The mother sounds like a bitch, and her attitude confirmed that you a) need to keep away from her, and b) need to make sure that she does not ever get your home address (ie where the dog lives). There needs to be some focus on locating the thief. This won't be a once-only thing - the thief will do it again, and having stolen from your place already, will possibly come back to steal the replacement. With the upset that the autistic child will now suffer - you did not create that. You are not responsible for it. The thief did that, as did the mother for not buying the dog from a reputable source. Locate that thief, and stop this from happening again. Do it for your dog.
I am so glad to hear this! You did the right thing and I am happy for You and your dog :)
Good on you OP! Family doesn't deserve to be taken away like that. Unfortunate the family wasn't understanding, but it's the world we live in. Glad you're reunited with your dog though :)
good for you! glad you have your dog back!
I don't blame you. I can't imagine letting someone else have my dog. It is unfortunate that the dog was sold to a family with a special needs child, but it wasn't your fault. I am glad you got your pup back.
I'm definitely not on the parents' side here, but your comment doesn't make any sense. How would they have KNOWN that the dog was stolen and belonged to someone else, before OP told them? When you adopt a pet (or even purchase anything from anyone), you give the seller/owner the benefit of the doubt, assuming they know what they're doing and they actually have the legal right to sell it. It's naive, but it's how people work.
Sorry my comment was directed at #252.
I would have done the same thing glad you got your dog back!
I'm glad you got your dog back. I have two autistic brothers and in my experience the parent tends to think the whole world needs to bow down to their child because of a few unbalanced chemicals in their child's brains. If they want a dog that bad they can go freaking rescue one and train it, it's not your fault someone sold them your stolen dog, it's your dog your family and she has no right to guilt trip you or say she or her kid has any rights to that dog. I'm glad he's home and don't worry about them :)
Wow. You are a ******* bitch. It wasn't the kid's fault YOU irresponsibly lost your dog in the first place. The mom thought she had bought him from the owner, they did nothing wrong. The child has special needs- you should have let it go and gotten a new dog. There are thousands dying in shelters daily. The cop is right; you ARE a horrible person.
I'm autistic and, as a child, my family and I took in a stray dog. No one ever came to claim her and we took care of her, but had someone come for her, we would've handed her over. Also, screw the policeman who told you that you were a bad person for wanting your stolen dog back, what an ignorant ass.
hey man I totally agree with u dogs are family I mean a family with 2 recent deaths could have my dog and I'd take it back my dogs mean the world to me besides me other family
That really sucks. I can understand the mother (kind of) because I myself am autistic and I understand how stressful it can be for parents. But on the other hand, she sounds like she's entitled to it in some way just because he's autistic, which is kinda annoying. Glad you got your dog back though.
Well you did the right thing either way. Riot was well mannered because he has a good owner that he loves and you love him too, he's your dog and he shouldn't have been been givin to a family that didn't own him.
I am sorry for the autistic child but I have dealt with them and sometimes they can be rude to animals and I have not just dealt with one I have dealt with many
I'm glad you did, sure the kid was autistic but they had NO right to buy a stolen dog! There is no excuse for it and I say you did the right thing. I would do the same if it was one of my cats.
I'm feeling that the child being autistic is partially a cover. If the woman truly cared, she would get a dog from legal means, instead she went for one with no paperwork. She has no clue if she's picking up a cancerous or diseased dog, or puppy-milled and has dysplasia. Looking for a quick short-term solution, she probably would have brought the trauma of having him die, or having to kill him upon her child. Probably more upset that she payed for him, to find out he was kidnapped. Good you got him back because usually when that happens, chipped or not your dog ain't coming home with anyone.
I have to agree with you OP. Riot is yours, and they have no right to him. Not to mention the mother of the kid didn't ask to let her son play with him, she DEMANDED. She used her kids illness to be a bossy jerk and take liberties with someone else's family member. Not to mention she bought the dog from a theif, not a certified shelter or breeder like she should've.
She couldn't have gone to the trouble of buying an actual therapy dog or something? Sure, it may be expensive, but I've heard it's worth the money
think he was saying the family
Keywords
So you should feel bad for having your stolen pet returned? Just because the kid's autistic? No, screw that. Take him back, he's yours.
They can get a new dog. You've had this dog. You should get it back. If one their dog was sold to someone else they would definitely get it back. Dogs are family.