By MikaykayUnicorn - 21/09/2014 14:57 - Australia
I agree, your life sucks
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MikaykayUnicorn tells us more.
MikaykayUnicorn
36
Okay, this is about to sound really dumb. But unless someone happened to have the same thing happen to them and happened to post it on FML the same day as I, I'm the OP. I'm unsure because of the fact that it says Australia and Anonymous. Hmm. To explain things a little more: he was totally kidding. We joke around like this a lot. I wasn't offended, until I realised I haven't received an actual compliment in years. We had been talking about how his parents normally believe that he's dating any girl he speaks to, except me. I responded by saying , "Oh, so I don't look like a girl?" I wasn't fishing for compliments, in case you were wondering. (I'd also like to say thank you to anyone who commented anything like "I bet you're beautiful". Reading the comments made my day.) I just said it as a joke. He replied, "Kind of, from the right angle." It wasn't meant to offend me, but it did make my day a pretty bad when I thought about it too much. Oh well, he didn't mean any harm. I also don't dress like a guy, and don't have a short haircut. I also wear makeup. So I don't believe I have many "manly" features.
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You're not the only androgynous person on earth, OP. It doesn't mean you've ugly or anything. A lot of women are like that. Many women could pass for wimpy men with the right hair cut and clothes. In fact, a lot of super models are like that, and it's a quality some modeling companies actually look for when hiring models. If it bothers you, I suggest updating your style. You don't have to wear makeup or dresses all the time, but you'll be amazed at what long hair and women's cut t-shirt and jeans with some girly shoes will do for your appearance. And for those of you who are going to tell me "OP shouldn't have to change," I'm only telling her this because her supposed androgyny seems to bother her, so I'm giving her advice to fix that problem for her.
Maybe. I got the impression though from her statement "this is the closest thing to a compliment I've gotten in years" that this sort of thing is an ongoing problem for her, and that he genuinely thought she was a man and was just making an observation.
jack_jill05
14
am I the only one that stopped reading at the big word in the first sentence?
21 - yes. most of us have the brain function necessary to comprehend the "large word" that scared you away.
I'm pretty sure most women know how to "dress feminine" since we can't seem to get people to stop concern trolling us over our status of "femininity" from the day we are born
rocker_chick23
27
#21: Yes you are the only one who stopped reading after the "big word" which isn't even big.
"Most," 25, not all. Although it's more likely that OP does know how to dress femininely but doesn't because she lacks confidence. I'm just saying that changing the way she dresses and styles her hair will likely improve her appearance and boost her self esteem. It did mine. :) Or,14 may be right and it's really obvious OP is a woman and that guy was just a dick. *shrug* I was just trying to be helpful rather than give the standard "what an asshole!" reply, which my make OP feel a little better temporarily, but won't improve her life.
To add another possible perspective: Maybe the OP feels quite comfortable with her androgynous looks (in the sense that she may find things like short hair and no makeup more comfortable than their alternatives), and the FML is just because she wishes she could find a guy who liked it too? Meaning the stranger was not intentionally being an ass, she is not self-conscious about her looks either, she is just at a time in her life where she'd like to form a romantic relationship but is having trouble finding a guy who's into girls like her?
Ah damn, OP just posted a follow-up. Seems like ALL the theories on this thread were false!
Ha ha! Yep, looks like we all were wrong! XP
I would have told him the same thing back. That sucks that there are people who say such things. But just ignore it and hold your head high OP!
ouch, that guy's kind of a prick.
Tell him that he looks like an asshole from every angle.
if i was there,I would've kicked his ass...only for you ;)
Ouch. That sucks OP
Axel5238
29
Sorry to hear that. I had a female friend that used to wonder why she had such a difficult time dating. She tented to dress more like a guy. If you do and it is a style preference that's cool, but be aware if it is a regular thing something to think about. Also, the guy could just be an ass.
Dont use your hair so short, and use girl's clothes, normally works
Well considering that those are both socialized constructs of femininity is seems ridiculous to have to go through so much just so assholes won't misgender you
She may like having short hair or wearing comfortable clothes. She isn't the problem. The problem is jerks like the guy who act like some kind of gender role police
rocker_chick23
27
#24: I hate wearing "girly" clothes. Maybe OP does too. She doesn't have to change the way she dresses if she doesn't want to.
@30 exactly, not every girl you meet is gonna be skipping down the street in a little pink dress or some crap. I get told all the time I don't act or dress "ladylike enough" and always have the same answer. So? I'm a woman not a fairy princess
I see where you ladies are coming from, and if you prefer to style yourself in a way that is not typically considered feminine, then there's nothing wrong with that. However, since OP apparently takes it as a compliment to be told she looks like a girl, it would be beneficial for her to style her hair and dress accordingly.
Hey, im not judging her, she was the one "offended" by what that guy said, so i just gave a "solution" because if she was complaining/sharing her story is because thats a problem to her, people who doesn't give a crap about it, don't post it here, i guess
MikaykayUnicorn
36
I actually have medium length hair and wear very girly clothes.
What's that? It's pat!
If you look at him at the right angle, you may find his tiny brain.
By looking up his nose, maybe?
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I hope you looked at his angle and kicked him there.
You and your friend are silly. :P Looks like my assumptions were totally wrong. Ha ha! But just because you don't get complimented much doesn't mean you're not attractive. Most people feel awkward giving compliments out loud. Doesn't mean they're not thinking them. :)