Health: Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick...

By Anonymous - 10/04/2015 18:04 - United States - Milton

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 585

You deserved it 2 656

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Same thing different taste

By Garry the Gluten-Free Pizza - 13/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 638

You deserved it 1 056

Public freakout

By Anonymous - 07/05/2021 06:00

Today, some punk got up in my face yelling at me, pushed my wife and scratched my car with a, "What you gonna do, old man?" attitude, and yet I’m the bad guy who gets arrested because I open-palm slapped him and he fell into a glass window and fucked up his face and neck, probably permanently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 364

By Pelota - 01/07/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 486

You deserved it 5 231

By GrandTheftArson - 09/03/2016 03:51 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, my ex stole my car keys. Good news is she can't drive stick. Bad news is she set my car on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 186

You deserved it 1 585

By badtiming - 15/09/2010 04:15 - United States

Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 097

You deserved it 3 292

By haley - 16/11/2018 14:00

Today, while in a parking lot, I accidentally cut someone off out of pure nervousness as I'm a new driver. I got out of my car to apologize, and they responded by beating me and my car to a pulp with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 541

You deserved it 458

Public freakout

By erineilis - 16/08/2011 14:22 - United States

Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 599

You deserved it 17 068

By RhiannonMuh - 09/09/2016 20:01 - Germany - Starnberg

Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 413

You deserved it 3 066

Thanks, I hate it!

By pleasebackintomycaragain - 24/04/2009 02:12 - Canada

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 344

You deserved it 3 345

By sam - 17/01/2011 03:32

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 195

You deserved it 2 239

lexiieeex3 32

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:12

There are some really shitty people in this world OP. I am truly sorry you had to experience this asshole.

Dreamsorrow93 24

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:18

This is why I carry a gun.

Comments

mrningbrd 19

Saturday 11 April 2015 17:27

Was the domestic abuse joke really necessary?

MrJenksMan 1

Saturday 11 April 2015 17:55

I voted you deserved it. Your protection is your own responsibility. This is why I carry a gun

sprints54 19

Saturday 11 April 2015 18:10

Conceal carry permit woulda been handy there

Kidjazzin 17

Saturday 11 April 2015 18:19

Sue their ass.

ThePandoricaOpen 18

Saturday 11 April 2015 19:15

At least he didn't try to sue you...? but really that sucks.

ThePandoricaOpen 18

Saturday 11 April 2015 22:34

Yes, stupid shit like that.

hurley12 30

Saturday 11 April 2015 19:24

Great joke at the end

Yunhee_fml 16

Saturday 11 April 2015 19:33

this is why i carry a gun?? WTF

ALegitOreo 11

Saturday 11 April 2015 19:46

Stick-Shift: "It's practically built in theft protection!"

Candied_person 13

Saturday 11 April 2015 19:52

This is y we have guns he would be dead ud be fine

kieralumina 30

Saturday 11 April 2015 20:06

that's why you lock your doors and keep a blade in your car. hopefully you heal up quickly, though.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 3 940

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 693

The Top

Today, my partner and I took his daughter to a museum. "I want to see the dead people!" is all she said the whole journey there. She's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 017

You deserved it 880

Fine... I guess?

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 98

Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 741

You deserved it 35 925

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 243

You deserved it 10 962

Today, the main file and backups of the book I've been writing for 2 and a half years mysteriously vanished. It turned out my mum decided that me spending so much time in my room must mean I'm watching porn, and so she trashed everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 326

You deserved it 2 439

Today, I invented a new fusion cuisine delicacy: cigarette-flavored apple sauce. The recipe? Cram so many apple pieces in a pot that they will burn on the bottom, even with plenty of water in it, then go away for 30 minutes and wonder what the bad smell is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 2 249

Same thing different taste

Public freakout

Public freakout

Thanks, I hate it!

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