Health: Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick... - FML

By Anonymous - 10/04/2015 18:04 - United States - Milton

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 585

You deserved it 2 656

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Same thing different taste

By Garry the Gluten-Free Pizza - 13/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 638

You deserved it 1 056

Public freakout

By Anonymous - 07/05/2021 06:00

Today, some punk got up in my face yelling at me, pushed my wife and scratched my car with a, "What you gonna do, old man?" attitude, and yet I’m the bad guy who gets arrested because I open-palm slapped him and he fell into a glass window and fucked up his face and neck, probably permanently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 364

By Pelota - 01/07/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 486

You deserved it 5 231

By GrandTheftArson - 09/03/2016 03:51 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, my ex stole my car keys. Good news is she can't drive stick. Bad news is she set my car on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 186

You deserved it 1 585

By badtiming - 15/09/2010 04:15 - United States

Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 097

You deserved it 3 292

By haley - 16/11/2018 14:00

Today, while in a parking lot, I accidentally cut someone off out of pure nervousness as I'm a new driver. I got out of my car to apologize, and they responded by beating me and my car to a pulp with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 541

You deserved it 458

Public freakout

By erineilis - 16/08/2011 14:22 - United States

Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 599

You deserved it 17 068

By RhiannonMuh - 09/09/2016 20:01 - Germany - Starnberg

Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 413

You deserved it 3 066

Thanks, I hate it!

By pleasebackintomycaragain - 24/04/2009 02:12 - Canada

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 344

You deserved it 3 345

By sam - 17/01/2011 03:32

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 195

You deserved it 2 239

Next

Top comments

lexiieeex3 32

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:12

There are some really shitty people in this world OP. I am truly sorry you had to experience this asshole.

Dreamsorrow93 24

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:18

This is why I carry a gun.

Comments

JacobRSE 18

Sunday 12 April 2015 5:33

Carry a knife, a gun, or at least some mace, OP. With the world we live in, you need it.

miafaith 7

Tuesday 14 April 2015 3:37

did he get arrested for beating you up

oneeyeopened 1

Wednesday 15 April 2015 5:43

Is this on the news in sc? Saw similar story

trey600rr 22

Friday 17 April 2015 1:49

should have shot him in the face!

ZombieVampirez 24

Tuesday 21 April 2015 4:36

Great reference

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 976

You deserved it 10 760

The Top

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 5 441

Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 758

You deserved it 49 318

Today, I realized how bad my social anxiety has gotten. Where I live, there's a gallery/corridor, which is where the entrance is. It's also where the kitchen window is. I was preparing to cook dinner when my neighbors walked by. Even though my windows are opaque, I panicked and haven't been in the kitchen the past hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 276

Today, I discovered I'd been ghosted. Last night, I hung out with this guy. We started making out. Everything was going great, then we had sex and it literally lasted 30 seconds because he was done. He got up, got dressed and left and then deleted me off everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 142

You deserved it 498

Today, during my work shift, my car got stolen and I had to walk home on the rain. While I was walking home, my stolen car drove by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 241

Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 429

You deserved it 3 252