...you do realize "it couldn't have been that bad" is something that people who victim blame rape victims say quite often, right? Not only that, but if someone's brain stopped working around people they were attracted to most humans would be dead. Finding someone attractive isn't an excuse nor acceptable excuse for not only attempted to force sexual behavior onto someone, but attempting to invalidate their identity. There is NO acceptable excuse or reason for knowingly doing so, which the OP's 'friend' obviously knew she was homosexual.

she said "tried to kiss" she never said he used force or tried to rape her for that matter which if he did was indeed a terrible thing to do.

some girls don't realise that if someone tries to kiss you and you say no and easily push him away it's not rape

The point remains that most rapists and vitim blamers use the justification that "it couldn't have been that bad" to justify what the attacker did. What the guy in the OP's post did is, while not as much of a violation as rape, could have easily degraded into rape. It happens on a daily basis. So saying shit like "it couldn't have been that bad" on a post like this is like going to a victim of an attempted murder and saying "it couldn't have been that bad" because they are still alive. It is insensitive, and frankly, stupid.

Also wiseass, I'm male. I just think that EVERYONE of every gender should have their person- sexuality, body, mind, whatever- respected, and has the right to defend the self if some asshole decides that their desires are more important that you not being harmed.

#76: An unwanted kiss by someone I don't like or not sexually attracted to is bad. What that guy did to OP is sexual harassment, and a huge violation of personal space. How would you like it if a gay man tried kissing you? It can't be that bad, right? He could have read you wrong.

There is NOTHING you can say to even TRY to justify trying to force yourself on someone that told you they're not interested. Hugging, kissing, etc. are NOT acceptable if the person doesn't want it. Plain and simple. Attempt failed or otherwise. Don't tell me that you're trying to say that, because she managed to push him back, he's not in the wrong for attempting to put his lips on hers when she said before she's not interested.

That is what I am telling you. Why do you think he was forcing to kiss her? Where does she use the word force? If someone was aggressively holding me in place and trying to push a kiss on me I would not say: was trying to kiss me. And I regarding the not interested. I am sure you tell every friend of yours what your current sexual state is but many people do not. I have female friends that used to be straight that now have a girlfriend and vice versa. People change, people try things and chances are you don't tell every friend of yours about it. He was a male friend, not her best buddy since childhood. I am saying he somehow got the wrong idea. Probably his fault, maybe he believed a story he heard to much. Maybe he mixed up some things. He went for a kiss. He got rejected. I do not see her saying anything about an attempted rape and I'm sure if that where the case she would have mentioned it. I do not say that because she could shove him off he was in the right. I am saying that if he was intend on pushing a kiss on someone and that person is unaware it would have worked. Don't believe me? Try walking up to someone and just kiss him/her. It has nothing to do with power. You will succeed. Might look like an asshole and now we can talk about harassment, but you will succeed

"That is what I am telling you. Why do you think he was forcing to kiss her? Where does she use the word force?" Because the OP said she had to push him away? "If someone was aggressively holding me in place and trying to push a kiss on me I would not say: was trying to kiss me. " I would. Because that's EXACTLY what he was doing to her "And I regarding the not interested. I am sure you tell every friend of yours what your current sexual state is but many people do not." 1. No, I don't 2. We're not talking about me. It's quite obvioous the OP told him her orientation and he STILL invaded her personal space and tried to kiss her without her consent. As for the rest... No. I cannot believe you're trying to make this seem less than it is.

Really? When you hear "Someone is trying to kiss me" the first thing that comes into your mind is someone holding your fast and forcing his/her lips on you? Then I am sorry. For most people that is not the case. If I read someone is trying to kiss me then I think about someone leaning in and doing the 90/10% thing. She had to push him away? Like you do when someone is standing to close? And leaning in? Not fight him off like when someone has you in their grip? More importantly you don't tend to stay close to someone that was just assaulting you and talk with him about it. I am not trying to make it less then it is. I am just reminding perspective. There are cases of people forcing themselves on others, there are cases of rape out there and I am of the firm opinion that we lessen these actual dangers by labeling something like this the same way. This was in idiot that got things mixed up, got some wrong information or thought he might be able to "cure" her or whatever. I don't know. But he did not force himself on her. I don't see it in the description. Not in the slightest.

" Really? When you hear "Someone is trying to kiss me" the first thing that comes into your mind is someone holding your fast and forcing his/her lips on you?" I did not say that at all. Not every attempt to kiss is forced, no. However keep in mind that if the word "forced" isn't used, that doesn't mean it wasn't forced. "She had to push him away? Like you do when someone is standing to close? And leaning in? Not fight him off like when someone has you in their grip?" Because he has to try and physically hold her down for it to be forced? And this is assuming he DIDN'T put his hands on her. I cannot claim he did because we have no evidence saying he did, but it IS a possibility as there is nothing proving otherwise yet. "More importantly you don't tend to stay close to someone that was just assaulting you and talk with him about it." If your friend tried to kiss you against your will, asking them "What the **** are you doing?" does not mean that you're staying close to them. Hell, it doesn't even say they're close. Just that they're friends. And if you ask why someone would try and kiss someone they're not close to, it happens all the time. "I am not trying to make it less then it is. I am just reminding perspective." Yes, you are. He invaded her personal space without permission and tried to kiss her without any consent whatsoever. Do you have any idea how fast that could have gone from attempted kiss to attempted rape? As if invading her personal space, trying to force a kiss on her AND telling her that she's not the sexuality she says she is and using that to try to justify his actions, which it doesn't justify at all as you DON'T force a kiss and invade the personal space of anyone of any sexuality. Just because you think she wants you even getting your lips close to her does NOT give you ANY right to actually do that unless you're sure she actually wants the kiss. "There are cases of people forcing themselves on others, there are cases of rape out there and I am of the firm opinion that we lessen these actual dangers by labeling something like this the same way." Did you just say it's not sexual assault because it's not rape? What? I'm sorry, I'm lost here. "This was in idiot that got things mixed up, got some wrong information or thought he might be able to "cure" her or whatever. I don't know. " I'm just going to copy-paste what I said above. He invaded her personal space without permission and tried to kiss her without any consent whatsoever. Do you have any idea how fast that could have gone from attempted kiss to attempted rape? As if invading her personal space, trying to force a kiss on her AND telling her that she's not the sexuality she says she is and using that to try to justify his actions, which it doesn't justify at all as you DON'T force a kiss and invade the personal space of anyone of any sexuality. Just because you think she wants you even getting your lips close to her does NOT give you ANY right to actually do that unless you're sure she actually wants the kiss. "But he did not force himself on her. I don't see it in the description. Not in the slightest." Look up the word "imply". It comes in handy quite a lot.

Impl.. I'm sorry me not speak English very well ;P "Do you have any idea how fast that could have gone from attempted kiss to attempted rape?" That is my point. Not at all. Attempted kiss and attempted rape are far from each other. They are not in the same ball park and people like you that claim they are make the whole discussion a hellhole to defend. I will never grope a women or force her into anything, but I will not ask if it is ok to kiss. And if you are going to call me a potential rapist because I offer up a kiss without talking about it then be it. I am done with this discussion, there are no battles to be won here. We both have our view and we both disagree with the other one.

I wouldn't call you a potential rapist if you only tried to kiss someone. Only if you did it in such a way that the person felt the need to push you away and say "What the ****?" at your attempt, which does imply force.

"1) Does being a Lesbian automatically mean denial of consent? No. " Yes, actually. If you are male and your friend tells you they are a lesbian, you can DEFINITELY assume she doesn't want to kiss you or for you to kiss her. "2) Does being a Lesbian mean he can't find her attractive, or read wrong signals? No." But finding her attractive does NOT give you the right to make a move on someone not attracted to your gender. "Unless he physically grabbed the OP for the kiss, or this is not the first time he's made such an advance, then I don't think he is in the wrong by trying to kiss her for the first time (because she had not been forced, and had not previously denied consent). However, I believe there are a lot of people on the comments who disagrees with this point of view." The FML SAYS she had to push him away,aka use physical force, to get him to stop. "*As in, do we know if he had his arms around her and restraining her to forcibly kiss her, and she "shoved" him away to stop the situation?" Maybe not restraining her, but he doesn't have to for it to be considered sexual assault. "**Or leaning in going for the 90/10 and and she "shoved" him away in shock, and confusion?" Likely she was indeed shocked and confused. I would be too. That and mad. "When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the **** he was doing..." - OP "*** I personally think it is the latter, because if he forcefully tried to kiss her, and she feels unsafe, and violated... she would not be posting an FML." You don't know that. There is a lot of things you would think people wouldn't post FMLs about but still did. Like the pyromaniac sister lighting her brother's bed sheets and the dad not doing anything about it. "I think it is common sense to not engage a person with the opposite sexual orientation as you either physically or romantically... However, when it comes to love or lust, if you feel there is an overabundance of common sense, it is my opinion that "you're doing it wrong"." Uhh... What?