Today, after class, I saw a phone and decided to return it to...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By kitty - 20/05/2021 03:16

Today, after class, I saw a phone and decided to return it to its owner. The owner showed up, pinned me against the wall, and cut my arm open with a switchblade, all for touching her phone. Not stealing it. Touching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 4

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Family Babies Kids Social Media Love Friends Nice Guys Facebook Smells Work Bosses Weird Dogs Transportation Accident Thanksgiving Cars Embarrassing Pregnancy Poopoo peepee Grandparents Awkward Alcohol Coworkers Animals Scary Pizza Annoying Health Healthy Lifestyle

The Top

Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 676

You deserved it 40 873

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

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You deserved it 44 807

The Top

Today, I went to a pain specialist to get help with my chronic pain. He did not diagnose anything or discuss causes. He then said, "Good luck with that" as I left. Of course, I still got billed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 75

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

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You deserved it 4 252

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 226

You deserved it 45 852

Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 711

You deserved it 3 116

Today, Social Security is docking my benefits because I have a job. That's normal… Except I haven't had a job since November 2023. After my old boss left, she was replaced by an ableist prick who fired me as soon as he realized that I'm disabled. No matter what I do, they refuse to believe me. Help? FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 112

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 608

You deserved it 5 382