Health: Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally...

By Anonymous - 08/03/2011 23:23 - United States

Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 865

You deserved it 4 905

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Same thing different taste

I'm fragile, OK?

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 10:00

Today, I lost a tooth and got my jaw wired shut after my toddler managed to break my jaw by whacking me with a plastic toy. Hello at least 8 weeks of being unable to talk while only eating meals that have been thoroughly blitzed into a liquid form first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 128

By brokenface - 15/09/2015 21:48 - United States - Notre Dame

Today, I finally kicked my awful nail-biting habit. All it took was a fractured jaw. I haven't been able to chew anything for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 673

You deserved it 2 647

By cherknobil - 07/07/2019 00:00

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw. The employees had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 201

Hole in one

By Anonymous - 24/04/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I got a tooth pulled out. I now have a hole connecting my mouth to my nose. Drinking and eating is whole new experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 102

Great idea

By dumbbb - 27/12/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 46 028

Snap, crackle, and pop

By Anonymous - 30/09/2023 22:00

Today, I woke up from my wisdom tooth surgery… while they were still sawing my jaw. I had such a bad panic response that they also cut my lip, so I have stitches inside and outside of my mouth, as well as the haunting crackle of bone being removed from my skull stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 111

Numb

By A.J. - 13/04/2019 08:00 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 877

You deserved it 173

Great, just great

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, after finally working there long enough for medical and dental insurance to kick in, my employers decided we should part ways. Then, while I was eating dinner, my crown popped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 68

Hangry time

By Anonymous - 21/04/2011 18:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 977

You deserved it 9 717

By braceface - 14/03/2012 20:12 - United States

Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 052

You deserved it 6 921

track69 3

Wednesday 9 March 2011 8:36

wow that's terrible I'm sorry

scottovious 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 8:38

That sucks. Jaw pain is horrid. So Sorry, I hope it gets better...

Comments

nvrbasik 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 12:06

got a tad bit excited eh?

LaciNic0le 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 23:29

awe :/

ballinballinb 0

Friday 11 March 2011 5:20

damn girl, how big of a sandwich were you trying to eat?

bobateme 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 7:25

A rather jaw dropping situation :D

superman7268 3

Wednesday 16 March 2011 23:51

sewer if ur a girl then I'm sorry but if ur a guy.... HAHAHAHA

theybebitchin 4

Sunday 20 March 2011 4:17

wow, ******* retard much?

__doge__ 15

Friday 10 June 2016 15:07

Sexist... Very sexist

pfizzle16 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 4:48

that is a real fml. like that is just awful im so sorry haha

birchknollbabe32 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 22:15

no shit fyl. that's why he said fml

poopy56 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 6:40

wait why would you ever get ur jaw wired shut

markcst 2

Friday 1 July 2011 4:01

your doctor didn't tell you only liquids for the first few days?

nivk 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 21:38

ouch...

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The Top

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 118

You deserved it 3 775

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 691

You deserved it 2 913

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 7 670

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 346

You deserved it 2 279

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 410

You deserved it 2 687

Today, I had the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. Too bad it put me in the hospital with a slipped disc and a concussion, and yet I just know me and the violent lady in question will probably do it all again at our next date. Good thing my health insurance is paid up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 1 201

Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 695

You deserved it 28 743